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Every time you think Sam Bankman-Fried can’t possibly get more despicable, he proves you wrong. The latest example comes in the form of a secret memo he wrote to himself following the collapse of his fraudulent crypto empire. In the memo, published as part of the Justice Department’s recommendation that Bankman-Fried spend 40 to 50 years in prison, he sets out a cynical plan to con the public once again, but this time with a MAGA-style twist.

“Go on Tucker Carlsen, come out as a [R]epublican…Come out against the woke agenda,” Bankman-Fried writes, misspelling Carlson’s name. At the time, the latter was still the star of Fox News, but has since been fired and now spends his time as a stooge for Vladimir Putin and getting pranked by Kate Middleton impersonators.

If he had gone forward with the plan, Bankman-Fried would hardly have been the first person to try and reinvent themselves by pandering to right-wing populists. But in his case, it would have been especially cynical given that, until then, he had tied himself to progressive causes and the Democratic party for whom his mother was a major fundraiser. Cynical but not surprising.

Time and time again, Bankman-Fried has shown he thinks he is smarter than everyone else, and that he is incapable of accepting any responsibility for the many bad things he has done. This latest memo makes this clearer than ever. Along with the Tucker Carlson idea, Bankman-Fried describes a plan to blame the FTX debacle on his lawyers, his ex-girlfriend, and the caretaker team overseeing his bankrupt company—on everyone but himself. Meanwhile, the memo also sets out schemes to go on ABC with author Michael Lewis and to debate Bloomberg columnist Matt Levine as part of a plan to show he was still the good guy after all.

The Justice Department sums up his con game well, writing in its memo: “The point is that the defendant is motivated to launch his redemption narrative and has already been thinking about how to spin it. It is realistic that he will settle on a narrative, lean into it, and convince other people to part with their money based on lies and the promise of false hope.”

At this point, it feels there’s no one left to buy Bankman-Fried’s redemption narrative outside of his parents, who likewise refuse to believe their son did anything wrong, and continue to shovel money at high-priced lawyers and PR people in a futile bid to impose their own twisted view of reality on the world.

The final outcome of these attempts to change the narrative will take place on March 28 when a judge will issue a sentence. In contrast to the prosecution’s recommendation, Bankman-Fried and his family are proposing a maximum of 6 1/2 years because, well, reasons. I’m not a betting man but, if I had to wager, put me down for something closer to the 40 to 50 years the Justice Department has proposed.

Jeff John Roberts
jeff.roberts@fortune.com
@jeffjohnroberts

DECENTRALIZED NEWS

VC firms with megafunds, like Haun Ventures and a16z that were mostly on the sidelines for 2023, say they are still all-in on crypto and suggested dealmaking will pick-up. (Bloomberg)

Starbucks is ending its trial Odyssey program, which served as an NFT-based extension of its rewards service, while the company suggested the Web3 initiative might evolve. (Decrypt)

Binance has quietly increased investor protections by extending the lockup period for new listings, while also requiring some issuers to provide security deposits and increase allotted tokens for market makers. (Bloomberg)

A JPMorgan analyst raised the firm's price target for Coinbase to $150 from $95, citing the likelihood of increased revenue from Ethereum services. (CoinDesk)

The dollar value of transactions on Solana hit an all-time high last week, spurred by frantic memecoin trading. (The Block)