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Ending the stock market battle over Gamestop in song

January 27, 2021, 2:38 PM UTC

(With apologies to Jonathan Larson, a version of his Rent classic “Seasons of Love” in honor of Melvin Capital throwing in the towel on its short bets against Gamestop. You can listen to the original here.)

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
Five hundred twenty five thousand investors who pop
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
How do you short? Short the Gamestop?

In options
In trading
In Robinhoods
In limit orders
In squeezes, in charting, in trade halts, in rocks

In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
How do you short a Gamestop in stocks?

How about funds?
How about funds?
How about funds?
Shorting by funds
Seasons of funds
Seasons of funds

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
Five hundred twenty five thousand small stocks to try
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred Redditors
How do you short a share of Tesla or Best Buy

In stocks that they churned
Or in times Melvin cried
In commissions they earned
Or the way that fund died

Its time now to cover all our bets
The trade always ends
Let’s celebrate remember a squeeze in a stock
Of friends

Remember the funds
(Oh you gotta remember the funds)
Remember the funds
(Oh yeah its a squeeze they upends)
Remember the funds
(Trade out, cover it, shorting by funds, hedge fuuuunds)
Seasons of funds
Seasons of funds…

Aaron Pressman
@ampressman
aaron.pressman@fortune.com

NEWSWORTHY

Knitting squeeze. It's not just kids on Reddit having fun with stocks. World's richest man Elon Musk on Tuesday morning tweeted of his love for the online crafts sales site Etsy (thanks to a spiffy Marvin the Martian hat he bought for his dog). Etsy's stock then opened almost 10% higher though it finished down 2% on the day. Maybe r/WallStreetBets doesn't like Tesla's CEO as much as we thought?

Game-ification instigation. Elsewhere on Wall Street, Microsoft's fourth quarter sales gained 17% to $43 billion, boosted by a strong debut of the new Xbox (and as Robert tipped yesterday). Microsoft's stock, up 4% in 2021 so far, gained another 2% in pre-market trading on Wednesday. At Advanced Micro Devices, the newest chip designs are selling like hotcakes. Revenue jumped 53% to $3.2 billion but CEO Lisa Su warned of continuing "supply constraints." AMD shares, previously up 3% this year, lost 5% in pre-market trading.

No one on the line online. Were all your emails answered yesterday? Were they even sent? A Verizon fiber optic cable accidentally severed in New York City seems to be at the root of Internet outages on Tuesday that erupted across the East coast. That doesn't seem to have affected Atlanta-based startup Calendly. The cloud productivity app developer said it raised $350 million from venture capitalists including OpenView Venture Partners and Iconiq Capital. The deal valued Calendly at over $3 billion, the Atlanta Business Chronicle reports.

Demonitized and depoliticized. The end of the Trump administration has not ended the troubles with misinformation on social networks. YouTube said it suspended Rudy Giuliani from its partner program for 30 days for claims the Trump lawyer posted about the election. Separately, 'Tube CEO Susan Wojcicki disclosed that the service has paid $30 billion to people who posted videos over the past three years.

In a hurry boys. Another detail on the management mess at Google's artificial intelligence efforts. Mustafa Suleyman, co-founder of DeepMind, lost his staff oversight responsibilities due to allegations he bullied workers, the Wall Street Journal reports.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

One of the best things to emerge from corporate lawsuits over the years is the view of behind-the-scenes machinations inside companies as revealed in court filings. The Verge's Chaim Gartenberg dug into the docs at the Apple v Epic Games case and uncovered some history about how Apple set and negotiated fees with partners.

One email in the thread breaks down the different forms of content partners that would be offering subscriptions on Apple TV. It muses on which partnerships would be fruitful to try to get a cut (like new streaming services) and which ones won’t (like “entrenched” cable and satellite companies).

Apple’s team settled on the idea that any iTunes-based transactions or subscriptions should stick with the same 30 percent cut as the App Store. But there’s more discussion over how the company will handle referrals, where the Apple TV applications link out to a service’s website for customers to subscribe directly to the service:

"I don't want to do any deals where we get less than 30%. That is what it is on the app store and we can't be making a different deal here. If that is not possible than i want a one-time bounty but we need to be very careful here so this doesn't spillover to the app store."

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

Facebook is among the worst social services at curbing Holocaust denial, ADL says By Danielle Abril

What companies can do to combat A.I. bias By Jonathan Vanian

Netflix’s ‘Three-Body Problem’ project in China was already controversial. Then came an alleged poisoning By Grady McGregor

Revolut disrupted banking in Europe—can it do the same in the U.S.? By Jeff John Roberts

After a blockbuster IPO, China’s top vape-maker faces a regulatory conundrum: Is it tobacco or tech? By Eamon Barrett

Sick of being ghosted, the young and jobless are fighting back By S. Mitra Kalita

In stakeholder capitalism, good metrics will keep corporate leaders honest By Brian Moynihan and Klaus Schwab

(Some of these stories require a subscription to access. Thank you for supporting our journalism.)

BEFORE YOU GO

I'm as eager to see the upcoming and much-delayed James Bond film No Time to Die as anyone. But there's a problem, a very Data Sheet-ish problem. Director Cary Joji Fukunaga is having to reshoot some scenes because the gadgets have gotten too out of date. Can't have 007 reporting in to M on an iPhone X, now can we?