News Sweep: June 30

Foxes of Wall Street: New York Magazine’s Daily Intel, working with Dealbreaker, hunted down the men they call the hottest bachelors on Wall Street.

The Money Pit: Today, AIG and Goldman Sachs testified in front of the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission, warring, once loving factions tied together forever like Tom Hanks and Shelley Long in the 80s classic, The Money Pit. Joe Cassano, late of AIG, was on the stand and provided some alternative history. Deal Journal live-blogged the testimony of Goldman Sachs president Gary Cohn, whose prepared testimony is here.

Jamie Dimon’s Poison Pill:
JP Morgan Chase may be planning to get too big to be too big to fail in the United States. The strategy described by Simon Johnson is that JP Morgan wants to avoid U.S. regulations by becoming more like Citigroup. But, um, isn’t Citigroup a ward of the state? That may not be a goal Dimon really wants to achieve.

Today in conspiracies:
Greg Valliere of Potomac Research Group suggests that there may be a Republican conspiracy to weaken the economy.
Related: a more fun conspiracy theory would be that Portugal did not allow Spain’s Telefonica to buy the Portuguese out from their joint venture in Brazilian mobile because of something like the World Cup.

Flight of fancy: America can’t be doing so badly if we have flying cars, says James Fallows.
Related: And yet, perhaps there is something a little off about our bicameral legislature when a lawmaker kidding-but-not-really attempts to ask a Supreme Court nominee whether she is Team Jacob or Team Edward.

Congratulations: This Fortune article on Bernie Madoff won a Loeb Award last night; it’s like a Pulitzer for business journalism, and it’s very well-deserved.