For those parents debilitated by the stress of raising kids and caring for their families, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy sees you. Murthy released an advisory on August 28 declaring parental mental health an urgent public health issue. Advisories are reserved for “significant public health challenges that require the nation’s immediate awareness and action,” according to the Department of Health and Human Services.
“Being a dad is the toughest and most rewarding job I’ve ever had,” Murthy wrote in the advisory.
In his foreword, Murthy emphasizes that parenting is both integral for the health of children and the health of society, but the stresses of parents are being passed onto their children. And now, parents are experiencing new stressors on top of the already daunting tasks of protecting their children from harm, managing finances, and navigating the uncertainties teenagers face through adolescence.
“Chasing these unreasonable expectations has left many families feeling exhausted, burned out, and perpetually behind,” Murthy says.
After speaking to many families, experiencing the difficulties of parenthood himself, and considering the compounding factors of economic and technological uncertainties on top of parenthood’s own stress, Murthy writes he felt compelled to put forth this advisory, which has the power to put policy and programs in motion to support American parents.
Parents contend with unreasonable expectations
The advisory states that there are approximately 63 million parents living with children under the age of 18 in the U.S., in addition to millions of non-parental caregivers.
According to the Department of Health and Human Services’ 2023 data, 33% of parents reported high levels of stress in the past month compared to 20% of other adults, while 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming compared to 26% among other adults.
The department outlines a multitude of responsibilities leading to the current state of parental mental health, including:
- Financial strain, economic instability, and poverty
- Time demands
- Children’s health
- Children’s safety
- Parental isolation and loneliness
- Technology and social media
- Cultural pressures and children’s futures
Murthy also wrote that as parents feel they are not meeting expectations—either self- or societally imposed. They internalize that stress as shame, leading to a vicious cycle where shame and stress build upon one another.
The support parents need
The Surgeon General’s advisory outlines four main shifts that need to happen to take action for the well-being of parents and caregivers.
Recognition that parenting is work
Many parents and caregivers feel undervalued for the work they do in raising children, especially if they choose parenting over a full-time paying job, according to the advisory.
The Surgeon General wants to put paid work and parenting on an equal playing field, stating, “We must recognize the importance of parenting and reflect it in how we prioritize resources, design policy, shape work environments, and approach our conversations with parents.”
More community and government support
The Surgeon General says policies that would “invest in the health, education, and safety of children” are crucial to improving parental mental health—but everyone around parents has a responsibility, too. The advisory urges community involvement through friendship, lending a helping hand, and providing emotional support, which will be vital in lessening the burden solely placed on parents and caregivers.
Ability to talk openly about challenges
Another important part of that support, the Surgeon General says, is speaking out about the stress that comes with parenting. Speaking openly about those struggles—whether financial or emotional—will help remove the shame and guilt that parents internalize.
A culture of connection among parents
As the loneliness epidemic—recognized by the U.S. Surgeon General last year—weighs on already stressed parents, the advisory encourages parents and caregivers to come together, exchange experiences and ideas, and support each other to better parental well-being.
More on parenting:
- 10 essential tips for parents to raise successful, confident kids
- Failure is actually good for kids. How you can foster their resilience
- Want to raise happy kids? Do these 4 things, a parenting expert says
- Knowing your child’s love language can be the difference between a good relationship and a great one
