Andrew Crowell is a financial advisor. One of his clients and their friend have a pact: Whoever dies first, the other promises to burn their personal journals before family or friends can read them.
It may seem like a dramatic plan for someone with nothing to hide, but Crowell, who is vice chairman of wealth management at D.A. Davidson, says it gives the client peace of mind. Though they swear there are no life-altering secrets hidden in the journal’s pages, they also doesn’t necessarily want their family reading it and getting the wrong idea about anything—especially when they won’t be there to defend themselves or clear up any miscommunications.
When it comes to estate planning, most people think of dividing up financial assets and determining which child gets the family heirlooms, but Crowell says his work with clients led him to realize how much more there is to consider. Journals, for one. But also passwords for all of the various online accounts people have now and even their iPhone camera rolls, among others.
“We leave a footprint when we’re gone, and you just want to help your heirs navigate that as seamlessly as possible and not end up with worries or suspicions,” Crowell says. “Spare the agony, burn the journal.”
It’s never too early to start considering these plans, he says, having learned this lesson firsthand when his mother passed away in 2020 from Covid-19. Crowell felt lucky that they had discussed her estate plans in detail in the years before she was hospitalized—it made the aftermath more manageable for him and his brother, materially and emotionally.
The recent hurricanes and other unexpected disasters highlight the urgency, he says. Though no one likes to think about their death, making plans when times are good will make it easier for your loved ones and help protect your legacy. The key, he says, is to never assume you will have more time. Instead, he advises everyone to think through all of their belongings and accounts, anything they use on a daily basis, and make a plan ASAP. Try to minimize surprises.
“By the time tragedy strikes and someone is then thinking about it for the first time, often folks are overwhelmed with panic or emotions and they’re not thinking as clearly as they could,” he says. “It’s imperative that documents spell out very clearly what you want to happen.”
As an extreme example, Crowell tells the story of a client with no living relatives who detailed in a notebook not only all of her accounts and passwords and every aspect of what was to happen with her assets, but also her own funeral—guest list and all.
“Ninety-nine percent of people won’t go to that extreme, but this is somebody who knew there was nobody else, she put it out in written format in just the way she wanted it,” he says. “If she hadn’t left that magic notebook with the passwords, account numbers, everything that was needed, it would have been a forensic activity trying to figure out what accounts does she have and where. She spared us a lot of heartache and agony.”
But even young people benefit from making a plan. Start by naming beneficiaries to the financial accounts you have now, and if you’re over 18, designate a healthcare proxy. As you get older, your plan can become more sophisticated.
A financial advisor like Crowell or estate planning attorney can help you through the process (as well as help you consider things you may not have otherwise), but it’s also possible to make a plan on your own. That said, a professional can help take emotion out of the planning, and be an intermediary with family members if needed.
Whichever way you choose to do it, the upcoming holidays present an opportunity to have discussions with family members you may not see often throughout the year, Crowell says, even if it’s a 15 or 20 minute conversation to discuss any recent changes you made to a will or health care directive. It’s not exactly a holly, jolly conversation, but “the best gift you give your family is that clarity.”
An earlier version of this story incorrectly stated Crowell has a pact to burn his journal. It has been updated to say this is the plan of his client.
