Writing my debut book taught me that it takes a village to raise a working mom

– Reading list. Writing a book is hard. Writing a book during a global pandemic is harder. Writing a book during a global pandemic while taking care of a newborn and starting a new job was quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 

I’m still not entirely sure how I did it, but I do know I have my village to thank for the publication today of my new book Stop Waiting for Perfect.

There’s a lot of emphasis on the need for a village when it comes to raising a kid; as someone who lives in a different state than both sets of grandparents, I’ve found this to be true. However, in my nearly two years as a mom, I’ve learned that it takes a village to raise a mom as well, especially one who has a job, dreams, and aspirations outside of the home.

(I don’t love the phrase “working moms.” Indeed, parenting by its very nature is work, no matter how you slice it. And yet, there’s a different kind of chaos when it comes to mixing parenting and working. After all, 42% of working moms struggle with depression and anxiety. I should know, I’m one of them.)

I can’t—nor should I—do this alone. That realization came in the form of a late-night bedtime battle with my then 1-year-old. My husband, who usually handles the bedtime routine, came home to find both me and the baby crying.

It’s a scene I vividly depict in my new book, now published as an excerpt in Fortune.

Courtesy of BenBella Books

The next morning I posted a cry for help on Instagram Stories, lamenting how hard parenting is—something society bashes moms for saying, but applauds dads for being honest when they do. Immediately, two friends came to my aid, offering to babysit and help out however they could. It was at that moment I realized a) not only is it OK to accept help, but b) it would really do me well to learn how to proactively ask for it—before I reach a breaking point. 

By all measures, I’m pretty fortunate. My husband and I are able to afford reliable full-time childcare, which enables us to focus on our careers (to pay for said childcare). In the beginning, I felt a bit guilty paying other people to watch my child. But, after an excellent pep talk from another mom friend, I realized pouring my energy into myself and my career actually makes me a better mom.

It takes a village to raise a child. In fact, it takes a village to create a full, healthy life—parent or not. But that village isn’t a given; you have to build it. Doing so takes vulnerability and a recognition that asking for help is a sign of strength. Lean into your community and trust that they’ll show up.

Order Stop Waiting for Perfect here.

L’Oreal Thompson Payton
loreal.payton@fortune.com
@ltinthecity

The Broadsheet is Fortune’s newsletter for and about the world’s most powerful women. Subscribe here.

ALSO IN THE HEADLINES

- Changing gears. Two weeks ago, Alphabet announced that its longtime CFO Ruth Porat will transition to the newly created position of president and chief investment officer. Some observers see the new role as an opportunity for Porat to play with the cash she's generated during an eight-year run as CFO, but others say it's a realization that smart finance alone won't push Alphabet to the top in the A.I. age. The Information

- Showtime. CBS has named Wendy McMahon CEO of CBS News, the company’s local stations, and CBS Media Ventures yesterday. McMahon's new role essentially combines responsibilities previously shared by three executives and puts her in charge of programming like 60 Minutes, Wheel of Fortune, and CBS Evening News. Variety

- Accommodation anger. The Pregnant Workers Fairness Act, still in its comment period, had earned bipartisan support, but conservatives are now fuming that the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission included abortion as a potential medical condition that would merit workplace accommodations. Conflict over the measure could lead to a heated political battle. Politico

- Playing defense. Nicole Creola Kelly has worked at the SEC for 25 years and spent the past two as the commission’s whistleblower program chief, overseeing a process that awards large sums to those who expose credible financial wrongdoings. Kelly is now playing defense, however, as critics demand to know why a significant proportion of whistleblower awards have gone to law firms whose attorneys have connections to the SEC. Wall Street Journal

MOVERS AND SHAKERS: ChargePoint has named Sherice Torres chief marketing officer. Hootsuite has appointed Elina Vilk as chief marketing officer. Marissa Shorenstein has assumed the role of chief external affairs officer at BSE Global. 

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

- Potential PM. The Netherlands could soon have its first female prime minister after Dilan Yesilgoz-Zegerius became the leader of the country’s VVD party yesterday. Yesilgoz-Zegerius, who came to the Netherlands as an asylum-seeking child and previously served as justice minister, will assume the position of prime minister if the VVD party wins a November election. Bloomberg

- Raising red flags. A.I. poses concerning questions about the future of industry and employment, but it also stands to reinforce discriminatory tenets of our society. Women, including ex-Google A.I. ethics researcher Timnit Gebru, have been speaking out for years about the lack of diversity in the field and how that translates to ignorant models. Rolling Stone

- Right winging it. Women are becoming more and more essential in the rise of the United States' far-right movement. From Facebook conspiracy theorists to viral influencers to government figures, the face of America’s alt-right is increasingly female. Guardian

- Family income. Women in the U.S. would make an extra $4,600 per year if they were paid for child and family care, according to a new analysis. Women typically spend about 52 minutes a day caring for children and family members, and hourly wages for care workers and home health aides average $14.55. Fortune

ON MY RADAR

How Ellevest CEO Sallie Krawcheck gets it done The Cut

She just had a baby. Soon, she'll start 7th grade Time

CNN shuffles morning, prime-time lineups amid sagging ratings Wall Street Journal

PARTING WORDS

"Seeing my kids makes me pathologically optimistic. It’s a life mission."

—Musician Grimes on the social responsibility she feels after having kids