• Home
  • Latest
  • Fortune 500
  • Finance
  • Tech
  • Leadership
  • Lifestyle
  • Rankings
  • Multimedia

Exclusive

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

Satire from Fortune

Facebook to Release All User Viewing History if People Don’t Chill Out

By
Ashwin Rodrigues
Ashwin Rodrigues
Down Arrow Button Icon
By
Ashwin Rodrigues
Ashwin Rodrigues
Down Arrow Button Icon
July 26, 2018, 9:08 AM ET
Salon Viva Technology 2018, Startup connect : Day One
PARIS, FRANCE - MAY 24: Facebook's founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg speaks to participants during the Viva Technologie show at Parc des Expositions Porte de Versailles on May 24, 2018 in Paris, France. Viva Technology, the new international event brings together 5,000 startups with top investors, companies to grow businesses and all players in the digital transformation who shape the future of the internet. (Photo by Chesnot/Getty Images)Chesnot—Getty Images

MENLO PARK, Calif. — After coming under fire for inappropriate collection, sharing, and handling of its user data, Facebook has threatened to release the viewing history of all users, unless there is a marked change in its coverage.

Facebook continues to make headlines as developments involving improper data handling, abandoned solar-powered internet drone projects, and cryptocurrency advertising seem to pop up by the minute. From confirmed reports of sharing data with Chinese phone manufacturer Huawei, to the infamous Cambridge Analytica scandal, Facebook can’t seem to catch a break from the spotlight.

Criticism of the tech giant has come from every channel: the media, Facebook users, Congress, the European Union, ex-Facebook employees, and current Facebook employees. This week, Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg took to his own platform with a novel strategy for positive press.

“Inevitably, there are going to be some issues when you grow at the rate we have. When I started The Facebook in my Harvard dorm room, I had no idea we’d be on the hook for undermining democracy. But everyone needs to chill out. I think we have enough criticism to last us until 2020. If it doesn’t stop, we are ready to make everyone’s viewing history public. Let’s see how you all like radical transparency.”

One Facebook user, who’s previously criticized the company, changed his tune after reading Zuck’s threat. “If my ex-boyfriend realizes how often I visit his profile, all posts about how I’m moving on and doing better will totally lose their heft. Maybe I’ve been too hard on Facebook. He did start the company is his dorm room, after all.”

Security researchers estimate approximately seven Facebook users have not yet had their data exposed or improperly shared, but that could all change if people don’t just chill out.

For more satire from Fortune, click here.

About the Author
By Ashwin Rodrigues
See full bioRight Arrow Button Icon

Latest in

Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025

Most Popular

Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Fortune Secondary Logo
Rankings
  • 100 Best Companies
  • Fortune 500
  • Global 500
  • Fortune 500 Europe
  • Most Powerful Women
  • World's Most Admired Companies
  • See All Rankings
  • Lists Calendar
Sections
  • Finance
  • Fortune Crypto
  • Features
  • Leadership
  • Health
  • Commentary
  • Success
  • Retail
  • Mpw
  • Tech
  • Lifestyle
  • CEO Initiative
  • Asia
  • Politics
  • Conferences
  • Europe
  • Newsletters
  • Personal Finance
  • Environment
  • Magazine
  • Education
Customer Support
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Customer Service Portal
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms Of Use
  • Single Issues For Purchase
  • International Print
Commercial Services
  • Advertising
  • Fortune Brand Studio
  • Fortune Analytics
  • Fortune Conferences
  • Business Development
  • Group Subscriptions
About Us
  • About Us
  • Press Center
  • Work At Fortune
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Site Map
  • About Us
  • Press Center
  • Work At Fortune
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Site Map
  • Facebook icon
  • Twitter icon
  • LinkedIn icon
  • Instagram icon
  • Pinterest icon

Latest in

US President Donald Trump speaks before signing an executive order in the Oval Office at the White House in Washington, DC, as Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick looks on.
NewslettersCFO Daily
Trump’s new corporate playbook: Why the administration is taking equity stakes in companies like Intel
By Sheryl EstradaMay 18, 2026
13 seconds ago
A panel on Gen Z workers sit alongside Fortune's Kristin Stoller at the Fortune Workplace Innovation Summit.
NewslettersFortune Workplace Innovation
AI in the workplace is stumbling. Fortune’s Workplace Innovation Summit will dive in to why
By Kristin StollerMay 18, 2026
5 minutes ago
charlie
CommentarySoftware
Anaplan CEO: AI isn’t eating software. It’s sorting it
By Charlie GottdienerMay 18, 2026
50 minutes ago
Wallet makers are the quiet backbone of the crypto industry. Now they want to be banks
NewslettersFortune Crypto
Wallet makers are the quiet backbone of the crypto industry. Now they want to be banks
By Jeff John RobertsMay 18, 2026
1 hour ago
President Donald Trump speaks in front of the American flag to the press as he departs the White House on May 12, 2026 in Washington, DC.
EconomyPolitics
President Trump says the White House’s dealmaking era ends with him: ‘It’s not going to happen again’
By Eleanor PringleMay 18, 2026
2 hours ago
Carl Fritjofsson smiles in a blue t-shirt
Startups & VentureTerm Sheet
The AI boom is pulling Europe’s hottest startups to the U.S.—whether they planned to move or not
By Lily Mae LazarusMay 18, 2026
2 hours ago

Most Popular

Microsoft AI chief gives it 18 months—for all white-collar work to be automated by AI
AI
Microsoft AI chief gives it 18 months—for all white-collar work to be automated by AI
By Jake AngeloMay 16, 2026
2 days ago
The top foreign holders of U.S. debt may soon dump Treasury bonds and bring their money back home, potentially spiking borrowing costs
Economy
The top foreign holders of U.S. debt may soon dump Treasury bonds and bring their money back home, potentially spiking borrowing costs
By Jason MaMay 17, 2026
19 hours ago
The Bezos family just donated $100 million to help achieve one of Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s top campaign promises
Politics
The Bezos family just donated $100 million to help achieve one of Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s top campaign promises
By Jake AngeloMay 12, 2026
6 days ago
'No one was coming to save me': How Reese Witherspoon built a $900 million company from a problem Hollywood wouldn't fix
Success
'No one was coming to save me': How Reese Witherspoon built a $900 million company from a problem Hollywood wouldn't fix
By Sydney LakeMay 17, 2026
1 day ago
SpaceX heads into a record-shattering IPO with the 'deepest moat that exists today' as investors vow to 'never bet against Elon'
Innovation
SpaceX heads into a record-shattering IPO with the 'deepest moat that exists today' as investors vow to 'never bet against Elon'
By Jason MaMay 16, 2026
2 days ago
Former top Russian official admits the country is over Putin and can 'imagine a future without him' — even elites bail as Kremlin seizes their assets 
Politics
Former top Russian official admits the country is over Putin and can 'imagine a future without him' — even elites bail as Kremlin seizes their assets 
By Jason MaMay 16, 2026
2 days ago

© 2026 Fortune Media IP Limited. All Rights Reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy | CA Notice at Collection and Privacy Notice | Do Not Sell/Share My Personal Information
FORTUNE is a trademark of Fortune Media IP Limited, registered in the U.S. and other countries. FORTUNE may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.