The Federal Reserve: It would like this “economic recovery” thing to start moving a little faster.
State Street: Why is it the exception?
Hedge funds: They’re increasing their short exposure and getting precisely nowhere.
AIDS: Scientists have found some effective antibodies.
Karl Rove: His growth agenda for the GOP would keep Bush tax cuts intact.
BP: A stake in the beleaguered oil company might help sovereign wealth funds diversify. Or, it might take them down. Potato, potahto.
Related: BP is getting stricter with its claims. Because nickel-and-diming out-of-work fishermen is the perfect way to clean up its negative image in the Gulf perhaps.
John Paulson: His funds are down $2 billion due to redemptions, but do you think that scares the kind of investors who put their money with him? These guys are hard. as. nails.
Citigroup: Waging war against passive-aggressive email. Is this advisable? More than even money, passive-aggressive, harassing and threatening email is the currency of Wall Street.
Warren Buffett: Spends significant amounts of time surfing YouTube. If Berkshire Hathaway starts, say, investing in controversial businesses like giant squid-like investment banks or ratings agencies, you know who to blame….oh. Wait.
Goldman Sachs earnings estimates: When Dick Bove and Meredith Whitney stop being polite and start getting real.