When we think about aging, many of us imagine a journey marked by decline, limitations, and loss.
“What if we could change our view of aging?” asks Jeanette Leardi, a social gerontologist and author of Aging Sideways: Changing Our Perspectives on Getting Older. “Instead of looking at it as a downward spiral, let’s consider ‘tilting’ our minds and adopting a new perspective on aging, as an opportunity to grow, redefine ourselves, and make the most of life’s later years,” says Leardi.
To do this, Leardi says, we need to rethink our personal relationship with aging as well as share those views with society at large. “Older adults often view their aging process as an enemy, a stranger, or a neighbor—something to fight, ignore, or tolerate,” says Leardi.
The healthiest and most fulfilling approach, Leardi says, is to see aging as a good friend—someone you like, value, and who enriches your life.
To cultivate this perspective, Leardi outlines four essential strategies, or skills, that encourage a more open and positive engagement with aging.
1. Sidestep obstacles
Society often places barriers in front of older adults, from age discrimination to assumptions about declining abilities. Rather than letting these obstacles impede our growth, Leardi suggests embracing ways you can put your skills and abilities to good use, and be a catalyst for personal and social change. Examples include volunteering as a mentor or tutor, beginning a strength training program, returning to school for more education, or starting a business.
2. Retire ageist terms and concepts
Language plays a powerful role in shaping perceptions, and ageist terms such as “silver tsunami” paint older adults in a negative light as endangering social or economic stability.
“That term drives me nuts,” says Leardi. “It implies that we [older people] are a threat, that we are overwhelming our society and robbing it of all its resources, and we’re going to bankrupt Medicare and Social Security.” Leardi proposes a different term, “silver reservoir,” to highlight the accumulated wisdom, skills, and experiences that older adults can bring to society but that are instead being blocked because of socially imposed limited opportunities to contribute.
Additionally, the term “successful aging,” can place a burden of unrealistic expectations on older adults.
“I don’t like that term because it implies that the individual is entirely responsible for how well he or she ages,” says Leardi. “It’s like saying that you failed at aging because you didn’t eat right, exercise enough, have too little education, or married the wrong person. But what if you live in an area that is a food desert, and you don’t have access to fresh fruit and vegetables? That will affect your health.”
Societal obstacles to aging well, Leardi says, include racial and gender discrimination, lack of accessibility to public transportation and affordable housing, and ageist hiring, training, and retention practices in the workplace. “I believe that individuals have 50% of the responsibility for aging, and society has the other 50%.”
Instead of “successful aging,” Leardi suggests an alternative term: “empowered aging,” when the individual and society work together to promote healthy and abundant ways to age.
3. Look peripherally
Aging is often depicted as a straightforward, linear path of decline, but Leardi encourages us to look peripherally, explore alternative perspectives, and find joy and growth in unexpected places. For example, she advises reimagining the metaphor of being “over the hill” not as an endpoint but as a vantage point.
“From the top of the hill, older adults can see other hills—new opportunities, challenges, and unexplored paths that they couldn’t possibly see when they were at the bottom of the hill they just climbed,” says Leardi. This approach fosters a sense of ongoing adventure and purpose, reinforcing the idea that growth and discovery continue throughout life.
4. Embrace the unexpected
By remaining open to new experiences and relationships, older adults can enhance their quality of life and build rich, supportive social networks. One way to accomplish this, Leardi says, is to embrace intergenerational connections, encouraging older adults to seek out friendships with people of all ages.
Changing society’s views on aging
While older adults can strive to change their own relationships with aging, we must also work to change society’s views on aging.
Leardi identifies six key “assets” that older adults possess, that challenge the opinion that aging is solely about loss, while highlighting the unique contributions that older adults can make to society.
- Broader experience, sharper skills, and greater wisdom
Over the course of a lifetime, individuals accumulate knowledge, skills, and insights that can guide others and foster innovation. This wealth of experience positions older adults as invaluable resources in the workplace, in families, and within communities.
- Greater individuation
Rather than belonging to an amorphous group mistakenly labeled as “the elderly,” older adults become more distinct and unique as they age, shaped by their diverse life experiences and personal growth. This individuation leads to increased creativity, as older adults draw on a wide range of perspectives and insights, including at work. For this reason, Leardi says, older workers are key players in effective brainstorming sessions.
- Closer proximity to mortality
The awareness of limited time encourages older adults to prioritize what truly matters, to let go of trivial concerns, and to focus on meaningful relationships and activities. This shift in perspective fosters a deeper appreciation for life and a greater sense of urgency in pursuing personal goals.
- Shifting motives and purpose
Many older adults turn their attention toward giving back, leaving a legacy, and contributing to the greater good. This sense of purpose drives engagement in volunteer work, mentorship, and community involvement, enriching society as a whole.
- A different brain
Aging also brings about physiological changes in the brain that enhance problem-solving and integrative thinking. “That means we can take ideas and refine them, reapply them, or revise them,” says Leardi. In the workplace, older adults excel in applying established protocols to other parts of the business and finding unique solutions to existing problems.
- Strength in numbers
“For the first time in history, there are more people over the age of 65 than under the age of five, ” says Leardi. If you have more older people around, you have more access to their wisdom, skills, and experiences.
Aging is an adventure
“We have to chip away at aging as a threat, by working on our personal negative perspectives and those of society,” says Leardi. “We should embrace aging as an adventure—one that happens to everyone and that actually enriches everyone at every age.”
More on aging well
- The 5 best supplements for healthy aging, according to a longevity expert
- A good workout routine can help you age better than your parents did. Here’s how
- 5 expert-backed ways to improve brain health at every age
