Editor’s note: This article was originally publushed in the August 1951 issue of Fortune.
“I almost wish I hadn’t fallen down that rabbit hole,” thought Alice, “and yet–and yet–it’s rather curious you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I grow up I’ll write one — but I’m grown up now,” she added in a sorrowful tone, “at least there’s no room to grow up any more here.”
And there wasn’t with everybody crowded together after the Caucus Race. The Dodo Bird had suggested they run to dry themselves after falling into the pool of tears, but he’d never said who won. Everything was so confusing. She tried to listen politely to Mock Turtle (“Once I was a real turtle,” he was saying) but the Gryphon kept interrupting: “It’s all his fancy, that, you know. He hasn’t got no sorrow.”
Why did everybody have to talk at once? The Queen of Hearts was the worst, Alice thought, and very rude to shout “Off with her head!” where she could hear it. But the Mad Hatter made just as much noise, always moving to another place at the tea table “as things get used up.” Really the only quiet ones were the Cheshire Cat (who only appeared at the right times) and the White Knight, a gentlemanly fellow who wanted to rescue her.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum, Alice suspected, were just still because they were tired out from fighting over not much of anything at all, and the Walrus and the Carpenter–Alice didn’t like to think why they sat so quietly. It looked, it looked very much indeed as if they were thinking about the oysters.
“You’re traveling the wrong way,” called the Train Guard, as if THAT was the most important thing anybody had to say. Perhaps I am, thought Alice. Oh, why didn’t the Dodo Bird pass out the prizes and end all this?
After all, she told herself very decidedly, the Dodo Bird had suggested the race in the first place. At last the Dodo Bird did speak: “Everybody has won and all must have prizes.” That’s the nicest kind of race ever, thought Alice, even if it hadn’t started out that way.
