A Michigan animal shelter will ‘neuter your ex’ for Valentine’s Day

By Chris MorrisFormer Contributing Writer
Chris MorrisFormer Contributing Writer

    Chris Morris is a former contributing writer at Fortune, covering everything from general business news to the video game and theme park industries.

    A Michigan animal shelter has a rather unique Valentine’s Day promotion.
    A Michigan animal shelter has a rather unique Valentine’s Day promotion.
    Christopher Furlong—Getty Images
    • Got some lingering ill will toward your ex? Heaven Can Wait Animal Haven will name a feral cat after them, then neuter them.

    When Valentine’s Day arrives next Friday, many people will mark the occasion with love and flowers. Others, however, take a more…vindictive approach to the holiday.

    A Michigan animal shelter called Heaven Can Wait Animal Haven is leaning into the latter approach—for a good cause. The Muskegon animal shelter says it will let you “neuter your ex” for just $25. Sorry, heartbroken masses, no actual exes will be snipped.

    Instead, the shelter will name a feral cat after your ex, then sterilize it before returning it to its colony. You can sign up on the list, which is already getting fairly long, on the shelter’s Facebook page.

    How will your ex know he or she has been fixed? The shelter will post pictures online to show the cat with its new name. This is the second year Heaven Can Wait has run the fundraiser.

    If you’re opposed to Bob Barker’s pleas to control the pet population, there are other methods to passively snipe your ex for Valentine’s Day.

    BetU, for example, will let you name a rat after your ex in the company’s (this really is a real thing) All-Star rat basketball league. For $15, you can give a rat your ex’s name and then draft them onto your team. The five best stories will be drafted for the starting five players.

    It lacks any philanthropic element, but then again…rat basketball.

    Revenge schemes against exes is a go-to fundraising and promotional effort for businesses and charities this time of year. Past efforts include naming a cockroach after your ex or sending them a scorpion in the mail. One gym last year said it would pay for your ex to work out in a different location than you. And in 2022, a cat shelter in New York and Los Angeles let people pay to put their ex’s name in a litter box, then livestreamed the cats…well, doing what cats do in a litter box atop those names.

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