It’s no secret that knowing the right people can open doors. Now, Gen Zers are attempting to get a fast-track ticket to success by dating people in high places—or “throning,” as the viral trend is being called.
The new slang term essentially means dating someone who boosts your social status, and nearly 30% of singletons have been using it as a leg up the hierarchy, according to the dating app Plenty of Fish.
A separate study published in the journal Science Advances found dating app users attempt to find a match about “25% more desirable than themselves.”
It may have a regal new name, but “throning” isn’t anything new.
In fact, according to PureWow, which first reported on the trend, it has been inspired by celebrity power couples—specifically, Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kanye West.
Although the pair got married 10 years ago and divorced in 2021, young people are now witnessing the relationship’s impact on her career.
Even Kardashian herself admitted to Interview magazine that she earned “a different level of respect” after her ex-husband introduced her to his circle.
Likewise, throning isn’t about dating (or marrying) someone for their net worth, like old-school gold-digging: It’s about leveraging their new partner’s network and reputation—and experts told Fortune it really does work.
Throning: ‘In the long term, it does work’
Angelika Koch, a relationships coach at the LGBT dating app Taimi and author of The Asshole Pandemic: A Field Guide to ID’ing, Deleting, and Healing From Toxic Relationships, says that she’s witnessed “throning” among clients who are predominantly city-based women in their twenties.
They’re employed, but they’re “looking to upgrade their life,” Koch explains to Fortune, adding that social media has made everyday women want more from life than a house in the suburbs: They dream of “luxury and travel,” she says.
And even those Gen Zers who do wish for a more traditional life, they are eyeing up the tradwife trend and want to hold glamorous parties with impressive guests in a picture-perfect kitchen, “which normally takes a man who is higher on the social ladder,” Koch adds. “They don’t just want a wallet.”
In other words, they’re keeping up with the Joneses—or rather, the Kardashians.
“It’s becoming more common now because people live in an Instagram world where social media sets trends,” Ksenia Droben, CEO of the British matchmaking firm Droben Matchmaking. “Many people confuse the world of stars and influencers with reality.
“Marketers teach that you need to find someone who is stronger than you and has more followers to increase your own influence—the same is true in the dating world.
“If a man has a higher social status than a woman, she automatically rises with him.”
What’s more, both dating experts agreed that those who date for a social leg up won’t find themselves back down the pecking order overnight if they break up with their partner.
“In the long term, it does work, so long as you are treating everyone with kindness and respect,” Koch says, adding that those wishing to “move up on the social ladder” should go to events like art fundraisers where they can meet people “who are naturally higher on the ladder.”
“Of course, business or personal success can continue after you have left your successful partner,” Droben echoes.
“We have seen it many times when someone was just a ‘girlfriend’ of a celebrity and then became a celebrity herself. It is always a question of how people use the chance or opportunity they are given.”
Ultimately, it all depends on how you treated your ex and your newfound network.
“No one wants to be used just for their money or influence,” Droben concludes. “If you are the kind of person who wants to use other people for a social boost, be honest. People want to be valued and respected—and then they will help you up, not push you down.”
A version of this story originally published on Fortune.com onNovember 19, 2024.
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