As Tom Hanks reflects on his life and career, 35 stands out as the most difficult age.
Speaking with Entertainment Tonight about his new movie Here where he played a range of ages, Hanks noted that the “the hardest for us was when we were playing 35.”
It’s the “time when your metabolism stops, gravity starts tearing you down, your bones start wearing off,” Hanks, now 68, said. Experts interviewed by Fortune say Hanks isn’t alone in finding the mid-thirties age difficult.
Neither the youngest or oldest kid on the block, people in their mid-thirties might be going through a bit of a slump with financial and family responsibilities setting in.
Many 35 year olds might feel their dreams collide with reality. Financial pressures intensify, and retirement might feel far out of sight Douglas Boneparth, certified financial planner and founder of Bone Fide Wealth, told Fortune.
“Age 35 can be uniquely challenging because it’s often a transitional period where expectations meet reality,” Boneparth, who specializes in millennials finances, said.
Common life transitions can add pressure.
“This is around the time when people may start having families, purchasing a home, and more…full-on ‘adulting’ sets in,” Vicki Salemi, career expert at Monster, said. “It’s important to stay positive, have a plan, talk to people, network, and more, to navigate these changes to move forward.”
Career ruts are common
Often long enough to make some headway, but not far enough to reach a point of full power— many mid-30s workers might feel like they’re in a bit of a rut.
The current cohort, millennials, are the least satisfied in their jobs, according to a Forbes survey of more than 1,000 U.S. workers. It’s no wonder given that many of them are middle-managers, a position known for creating great levels of stress. Said managers have recently reported even higher levels of burnout given their current role to communicate office mandates and other shifting cultural norms to their team.
“At age 35, many professionals find themselves balancing career advancement with increasing responsibilities at work, often facing pressure to achieve leadership roles or pivot toward long-term career goals,” Dan Schawbel, workplace expert and managing partner at Workplace Intelligence, adds.
Many might have a breaking point, where they realize they want to change paths, notes Boneparth.
“It’s a time when people may feel pressure to advance further in their careers or realize that the path they’re on might not align with their long-term aspirations,” he says of the life stage. Salemi backs up this sentiment, explaining that this is often a point where people become ready for a career change, something that is exciting “but could feel daunting.”
Even so, it’s not all doom and gloom. Adults at this age “are in their prime working years,”Steven Conners, founder and president of Conners Wealth Management in Scottsdale, Arizona, notes. About three decades from traditional retirement they’re in an ideal spot to save more and contribute more to their job, he adds. Urging optimism for those with a young family and seeing their career accelerate while facing a long time until retirement he says,”be excited instead. Your 40th birthday (or mid-life crisis) is still five years away.
No time to unwind
Even when 35 year-olds finally catch a break, they might not be able to unwind. They’re in an expensive life-stage, after all.
And this typically difficult period seems to be hitting millennials all the more hard. Often hit with student loans and facing ill-timed recessions, young adults of this generation struggled to afford housing and have found themselves competing with cash-flush baby boomers. Wealth building proves difficult, as 70% of Gen Z and millennial student borrowers report to Bankrate that they’ve put off making important financial decisions due to their debt.
Simply affording their own lifestyle proves trying, which has, in part, contributed to some not having children. Those that do have kids have found themselves hit by high childcare costs as exacerbated by a nation-wide crisis. In every state childcare costs more than rent, as the cost of center-based care for two kids was more than average annual rent payments by 25% to over 100%, according to a report from Child Care Aware of America.
Millennials have persevered, making gains despite it all. But they’re still probably stressed as they’re juggling expenses for the future, wealth building, and family planning. “Financially, it’s the age when major life expenses like homeownership, raising children, or saving for retirement come into sharper focus, often feeling more burdensome as responsibilities pile up,” explains Boneparth, adding that there are health concerns that start to kick in at that period as well.
“At this age, there is little to no time for self-care and your whole world is wrapped up in taking care of everyone but yourself. It’s an exhausting time of life that makes many wonder, what’s the point,” Jennifer Moss, author of Unlocking Happiness at Work, told Fortune, referencing a study that explained happiness is like a U-curve that dips in middle adulthood and recent surveys of youth that show a major decline in well-being.
Hanks, for his own part, believes himself to be “in better shape now,” referencing his kids growing older and his heightened ability to exercise and eat better. Dr. Kerulis, associate clinical professor of counseling at the Family Institute at Northwestern, agrees that said practices are “key to improvements at any age.”
She adds though that the age, while it might have growing pains, can be a good time of reflection. “ I would argue that one’s 30’s can be a very exciting time in life because it is a time to embrace oneself, step into one’s own way of being, and learn how to manage adversity as a mature individual,” she added.
