• Home
  • Latest
  • Fortune 500
  • Finance
  • Tech
  • Leadership
  • Lifestyle
  • Rankings
  • Multimedia
TechTerm Sheet

The Problem With Being a “Cool Girl” in Tech

By
Erin Griffith
Erin Griffith
Down Arrow Button Icon
By
Erin Griffith
Erin Griffith
Down Arrow Button Icon
July 17, 2017, 3:21 PM ET
Kris Duggan of Betterworks
Kris Duggan of BetterworksPhotograph by Scott R. Kline

This article first appeared in Term Sheet, Fortune’s newsletter on deals and dealmakers. Sign up here.

BetterWorks, a provider of performance management software, and its CEO Kris Duggan, regional VP Matt Hart and VP of People Operations Tamara Cooksey, have been sued for assault, harassment, and discrimination. In other words, a company that makes HR software is accused of treating its employees badly.

Two things:

• BetterWorks is backed by $35 million in funding from Emergence Capital Partners and Kleiner Perkins. But the relationship with Kleiner goes deeper: Duggan and John Doerr wrote an advice book together, which is scheduled to come out in the fall. It’s about OKR’s – basically, business goals and how to manage them. The book is a series of case studies, including one chapter about BetterWorks itself.

• There are lots of horrible details in the lawsuit, which can be read here. But I was particularly disgusted by the accusation that BetterWorks’ VP of People Operations, Tamara Cooksey, allegedly dismissed complaints as “cattiness” and “a female thing” while advising women against raising formal complaints and telling them to be “a cool girl.”

If the phrase “cool girl” does not make you want to scream into a pillow, I recommend any of these articles that explain the concept: The myth of the “cool tech girl.” The dangers of the cool girl ideal. Against cool girl feminism.

So much of the sexism and discrimination women encounter in the workplace – any workplace, not just the tech industry – is subtle and difficult to pinpoint. The pressure to be a “cool girl” and shrug it off only perpetuates the problem.

Over the last couple of weeks, a number of women in tech have told me that while they’ve never experienced sexual harassment from investors or coworkers, they have been discriminated against in ways that are too nuanced and complicated to do anything about. These are women who have decided they’ll never work at all-male partnerships again, or who have jumped from tech to finance, where they say there’s a stronger separation between the personal and professional, or who want to stay in venture and fix the problem but are tired of being labeled the “problematic one” when they speak up.

At the same time, a number of readers have told me that I shouldn’t lump Ellen Pao’s lawsuit against Kleiner Perkins into the current set of complaints because she lost, and there was no “smoking gun.” But that’s the difference between harassment and discrimination. One requires an explosive accusation of a potentially illegal act, and one is tiny and quietly humiliating and happens every day. They exist on the same spectrum, and both contribute to the tech industry’s problem with women – a problem that is not going to just disappear on its own if everyone can just act “cool.”

About the Author
By Erin Griffith
See full bioRight Arrow Button Icon

Latest in Tech

Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025

Most Popular

Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Fortune Secondary Logo
Rankings
  • 100 Best Companies
  • Fortune 500
  • Global 500
  • Fortune 500 Europe
  • Most Powerful Women
  • World's Most Admired Companies
  • See All Rankings
  • Lists Calendar
Sections
  • Finance
  • Fortune Crypto
  • Features
  • Leadership
  • Health
  • Commentary
  • Success
  • Retail
  • Mpw
  • Tech
  • Lifestyle
  • CEO Initiative
  • Asia
  • Politics
  • Conferences
  • Europe
  • Newsletters
  • Personal Finance
  • Environment
  • Magazine
  • Education
Customer Support
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Customer Service Portal
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms Of Use
  • Single Issues For Purchase
  • International Print
Commercial Services
  • Advertising
  • Fortune Brand Studio
  • Fortune Analytics
  • Fortune Conferences
  • Business Development
  • Group Subscriptions
About Us
  • About Us
  • Press Center
  • Work At Fortune
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Site Map
  • About Us
  • Press Center
  • Work At Fortune
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Site Map
  • Facebook icon
  • Twitter icon
  • LinkedIn icon
  • Instagram icon
  • Pinterest icon

Latest in Tech

Gen Alpha is using makeup to pass age verification tech online. One mom caught her son using an eyebrow pencil
CybersecuritySocial Media
Gen Alpha is using makeup to pass age verification tech online. One mom caught her son using an eyebrow pencil
By Catherina GioinoMay 5, 2026
2 hours ago
OpenAI cofounder and president Greg Brockman (left) and cofounder and CEO Sam Altman (right) dressed in suits and walking through the lobby of a court house.
NewslettersEye on AI
Musk’s court fight against OpenAI produces more heat than light on the control of advanced AI
By Jeremy KahnMay 5, 2026
2 hours ago
dimon, amodei
Cybersecuritycyber
Jamie Dimon and Dario Amodei sidestep question about whether the AI cyber ‘freakout’ is warranted
By Nick LichtenbergMay 5, 2026
2 hours ago
dario
Economydisruption
Dario Amodei spent last year warning of an AI white-collar bloodbath. Now he’s changing the narrative
By Nick LichtenbergMay 5, 2026
3 hours ago
Mark Zuckerberg
LawMeta
James Patterson, Biden publishers say Mark Zuckerberg ‘personally authorized’ copyright infringement in new lawsuit against Meta
By Hillel Italie and The Associated PressMay 5, 2026
3 hours ago
servicenow
AIAI agents
ServiceNow just unveiled an AI workforce that can run your entire company: ‘Enterprises need AI that senses, decides, and securely acts’
By Nick LichtenbergMay 5, 2026
4 hours ago

Most Popular

Diary of a CEO founder says he hired someone with 'zero' work experience because she 'thanked the security guard by name' before the interview
Success
Diary of a CEO founder says he hired someone with 'zero' work experience because she 'thanked the security guard by name' before the interview
By Emma BurleighMay 3, 2026
2 days ago
Current price of silver as of Monday, May 4, 2026
Personal Finance
Current price of silver as of Monday, May 4, 2026
By Joseph HostetlerMay 4, 2026
1 day ago
Clean energy's winning argument is the one it refuses to make
Commentary
Clean energy's winning argument is the one it refuses to make
By David CraneMay 5, 2026
10 hours ago
America got rich and got sad. A top economist says 2020 broke something that hasn't healed
Economy
America got rich and got sad. A top economist says 2020 broke something that hasn't healed
By Nick LichtenbergMay 3, 2026
2 days ago
Current price of gold as of May 4, 2026
Personal Finance
Current price of gold as of May 4, 2026
By Danny BakstMay 4, 2026
1 day ago
America is lucky it’s no longer a manufacturing powerhouse—it’s what’s protecting the U.S. economy from the worst of the oil shock, top economist says
Economy
America is lucky it’s no longer a manufacturing powerhouse—it’s what’s protecting the U.S. economy from the worst of the oil shock, top economist says
By Sasha RogelbergMay 4, 2026
1 day ago

© 2026 Fortune Media IP Limited. All Rights Reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy | CA Notice at Collection and Privacy Notice | Do Not Sell/Share My Personal Information
FORTUNE is a trademark of Fortune Media IP Limited, registered in the U.S. and other countries. FORTUNE may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.