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FORTUNE — Is there anybody who doesn’t think they know better than Apple (AAPL) what to do with the company’s $137 billion in cash and marketable securities?
Investment bankers want bigger dividends. David Einhorn wants his iPrefs. The Economic Policy Institute favors the workers. Now here’s Charles Krauthammer — considered at the time of the Iraq invasion to be America’s most influential commentator — suggesting on Fox News that Apple buy a financially strapped island republic in the Mediterranean, rename it iCyprus, and use it as an offshore campus.
Thanks to MacDailyNews for spotting the clip.