John was a successful COO at an agriculture company. But the stress that accompanied his success was fueling an addiction.
The San Francisco–based executive—referred to only by his first name for privacy reasons—used both alcohol and drugs to escape from the high-pressure realities of his job for a decade—until he had a “wake-up moment.”
His maladaptive coping mechanisms had “started to affect my work performance and my personal relationships,” he tells Fortune. He thought, “I need to do something different or I’m going to lose everything I’ve worked for—my personal career, relationships with my family and friends.”
He spent nearly five months in a substance-abuse treatment center, a so-called sober companion by his side the entire time. John, who has been working with his sober companion for a year and a half now, believes having one helped add structure to his days and taught him to enjoy life without substances.
“When you’re involved in addiction, simple steps seem so complicated,” he says. A sober companion “really helps you simplify your journey into recovery.”
How a sober companion works
About one in 11 American workers has battled a substance use disorder in the previous year. Long hours—coupled with the high stress and high pressure that define life in the C-suite—put executives and other company leaders at an increased risk for abusing alcohol and drugs.
While some executives suffer in silence out of fear of losing their powerful positions and damaging their reputations, others seek help from conventional routes, such as rehab and support groups. Increasingly, however, high-powered corporate professionals are hiring sober companions who provide discreet, and sometimes round-the-clock, support for their recovery journeys.
A sober companion’s primary job is to be there for clients at their weakest moments, helping them adjust to life after a treatment program, guiding them through the recovery process, and preventing relapse. They may also assist with finding doctors or therapists for their clients.
How much, or how little, they’re by a client’s side is determined by the severity of a client’s addiction. Some sober companions may live with a client and their family 24/7, while others might provide support just when a client is traveling abroad or attending an event.
Rick Barnes, founder of Apex Coaching Partners, has been sober for 32 years, and a sober companion for 22. Barnes has extensive experience working as a sober companion to executives.
His first order of business with a client: establishing goals, which can be as “basic as personal hygiene, proper diet, and daily exercise,” along with other “daily practices to reinforce abstinence or recovery.”
“We identify triggers and develop plans to diminish their effect,” Barnes says. “As we progress, we work on establishing boundaries with family, friends, and coworkers. As the client becomes more grounded in recovery, we begin to focus on career skills, and the necessary attitudes of humility along with perseverance to thrive.”
Barnes believes having a sober companion is crucial for executives with substance use disorder, who often don’t feel comfortable being open about their recovery.
Dr. David Fiellin, director of addiction medicine at Yale School of Medicine, is of the same mindset.
“There’s a lot of stigma surrounding substance use disorder,” he tells Fortune. He encourages his patients to work closely with an addiction specialist—and that includes sober companions.
“If you can surround yourself with individuals who have been in a similar situation, abstinent and sober, that helps create a social network that is not focused around using or drinking,” he says.
That’s the aim of a sober companion. They can help build psychological safety for people who may not want to reveal that they’re in recovery, and provide confidential support and critical connection.
A personal sober companion is not cheap. Their services can cost anywhere from $900 to $4,000 a day. They aren’t regulated by any organization, and becoming one doesn’t require a certification, which can make finding a qualified one challenging. Given the lack of credentialing, most people find one through recommendations from friends, though they can also be found online.
The sober companion industry “has exploded in the past two decades,” Barnes says. “What began as a solution to keep an actor on a film or a musician on the road has developed into a practice that can—and does—benefit all.”
As for John, he wants executives who are suffering in silence to know there is hope for a substance-free future.
“There’s a better way to live life—there’s freedom,” he says. “There’s a way to maintain the lifestyle you have and also enjoy the process along the way.”
But there’s work involved, he cautions: “You have to rethink your life and restructure it.”
