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SuccessDating apps

Dating apps not working? Let an AI wingman do your flirting.

By
Jane Thier
Jane Thier
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By
Jane Thier
Jane Thier
Down Arrow Button Icon
September 3, 2024, 2:26 PM ET
Ideally, AI wingmen can fill in the gaps where many humans have—at least by their own judgment—come up short.
Ideally, AI wingmen can fill in the gaps where many humans have—at least by their own judgment—come up short.Getty images

“Are you a volcano? Because I lava you a lot.”

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If that pick-up line didn’t instantly endear you, it’s because AI—shockingly—might lack the human touch that most people hone over their years on the dating scene. That pick-up line comes compliments of Rizz AI, a pick-up-line generator that also offers Tinder bios, dating-app photo help, and even catchy responses to simple back-and-forths.

It can also provide you with “dirty pick-up lines.” I clicked on that option and was met with a list of suggestions about as naughty as vanilla ice cream. Top example: “Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.”

You might not be ready to marry Rizz just yet, but the major players in the dating app scene—Match Group’s Tinder and Hinge, as well as Bumble and LGBTQ+ dating app Grindr—want in on the action; all are developing a Rizz AI of their own. These internal tools, likely with an extra price tag, would act as de facto wingmen for their hundreds of millions of users who want to hook up, date, or partner with a soulmate. 

Speaking of deep connections, in a section of Rizz AI’s website called “Rizz Chat,” I initiated a typical dating app conversation. “Cute dog!” I wrote. “Thanks, his name is Buddy,” I responded, posing as the object of my own virtual attraction. (The idea here: I’m feeding Rizz both sides of the conversation, where another user might simply enter in what their match is messaging them in real time.) 

I asked Rizz AI how I should respond to Buddy’s owner. It provided me with three simple suggestions. “What breed is he? [dog emoji]” was option one. Option two: “Buddy is adorable! Does he have any funny quirks? [crying-laughing emoji]” And finally: “Do you have any other pets, or is Buddy the star of the show?” I was only able to generate a pick-up line five times before hitting a paywall, but I could buy unlimited guidance from Rizz AI. In practice, that could mean a particularly anxious chatter could do zero talking of their own, sending off AI-crafted responses all the way through until an in-person date—assuming their match doesn’t catch on.

Ideally, an AI-led approach to the romance industrial complex could reverse the dating app fatigue that’s seen users abandon the apps altogether—sometimes even taking vows of celibacy until things improve. (For their part, the apps are praying they give it another chance; membership numbers and profits have taken a nosedive in recent quarters.)

AI implementations like Rizz aim to fill in the gaps where many humans have—at least by their own judgment—come up short. In an increasingly app-dominated world, many humans’ confidence in their own abilities to woo a partner have faltered. What was once a simple exchange of energy (of course, replete with the occasional strikeout or brutal rejection) has now become digitized, and any leftward swipe is being treated like a bug in an operating system. 

Rizz AI’s manifesto states it’s an “AI dating tool specifically designed to help users date better, providing easy and interesting conversation suggestions.” The lines it generates are “designed to help anyone, regardless of their [dating] experience level.” It says its lines are “creative and confidence-boosting” and “make it easier for shy individuals or dating newcomers to start and maintain engaging conversations.” Presuming, of course, those on the other end of those conversations are into it. 

‘A wingman talking to someone else’s wingman’

Earlier this year, Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe Herd suggested that one way AI could factor into the women-first Bumble experience would be the introduction of “AI dating concierges” that could serve as stand-ins for individual users. “There is a world where your dating concierge could go and date for you with [another] dating concierge,” Wolfe Herd told the crowd at Bloomberg’s Tech Summit in May. “Then you don’t have to talk to 600 people.”

On Grindr, a virtual wingman—introduced in December 2023—is aptly named the Grindr Wingman. It’s designed to ameliorate users’ major pain points, AJ Balance, the app’s chief product officer, told the Financial Times. “The idea of a wingman talking to someone else’s wingman, maybe to see what it’d be like to go on a date or to find common areas of interest, is something that’s worth exploring,” Balance said.

On YourMove.AI, a chat assistant with similar offerings as Rizz AI, I said that a new flame on a dating app had just messaged me, asking “How should I end an article about AI and dating?” 

“What a fascinating topic,” YourMove’s first suggestion wrote. “Do you think AI will ever be able to replace the butterflies of a first date?”

Its second suggestion was markedly less confident. It encouraged me to end with provocation. “Something like, ‘Will AI steal our hearts or just our personal data?’”

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