Finally! A vacation where you don’t have to stress about what to pack.
A nude cruise is setting sail from Miami next February, with promoters promising a “stress-free, clothes-free experience” for up to 2,300 passengers. “The Big Nude Boat” will allow passengers to let it all hang out on the lido deck and be buck naked on the bow.
You might want some pockets when the bill comes, though, because you’re going to have to reach deep in them, depending on the level of luxury you’re looking for. Prices for the cruise start at $2,000 for an inside cabin on the lower levels and reach as high as $33,155 for a three-bedroom suite.
The ship will set sail on Feb. 3, 2025, and return to port on Valentine’s Day. Passengers will have to cover up (and not just in lingerie, the travel company emphasizes) when they go ashore, are in port, or opt to eat in the dining room, rather than the self-serve buffet on the pool deck (where you can chow down as naked as you please).
While there will be private parts everywhere you turn, the cruise operator, Bare Necessities, says this is not the bacchanalia some might envision. Fondling and other overt sexual behavior is prohibited, and the cruise site notes that “lingerie, fetish-wear, and excessive genital jewelry are not appropriate at any time.”
You’re welcome to take photos on your cruise, just not of other guests without permission and not in the pool or dance venues of the ship. And standard nudist protocol is in effect: If you sit down, put a towel underneath you.
Bare Necessities is a nudism-focused travel company that, according to its website, aims “to break down the barriers against social nudity and make clothing-optional vacationing a viable and acceptable option for all.” Two other cruises exploring the Greek isles, one currently underway and one set to sail in about a week, were both sold out. Those cruises only accommodated between 150 and 200 passengers each, though. This will be the company’s largest expedition.
As for that what-to-pack conundrum? Sunscreen. The answer is lots and lots (and lots) of sunscreen.