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Lifestyleweddings

Millennial and Gen Z couples say they aren’t getting married, because it’s too expensive right now

By
Chloe Taylor
Chloe Taylor
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August 18, 2023, 7:57 AM ET
A bride kisses a groom on the cheek in a woodland setting.
Young Americans don’t think spending thousands on a wedding is smart in the current economy.Getty Images

Young Americans aren’t heading down the aisle as eagerly as their parents and grandparents did—but it isn’t necessarily because they’re opposed to marriage.

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For many under the age of 45, it’s about affordability, according to a recent survey.

In a June poll, the Thriving Center of Psychology asked 906 Gen Z and millennials—between ages 18 and 42—about their views on marriage.

Participants were all in a relationship, but unmarried. Three in five of those polled lived with their partner, while 15% shared a child with their partner, and 70% co-owned a pet with their better half.

Eighty-three percent of respondents said they were hoping to get married someday—although a similar proportion noted that they did not believe marriage was necessary to have a fulfilled and committed relationship.

But while the vast majority of survey participants did want to marry their significant other, 73% felt it was simply too expensive to get married in the current economy.

Spiraling costs

While the U.S. economy has shown signs of resilience over the past year, many millennials are still intensely worried about their finances—and getting married isn’t cheap.

Thanks to spiraling inflation, American couples are spending more than ever on their big day.

According to research by The Knot, the average U.S. wedding, including the ceremony and reception, cost $30,000 last year—$2,000 more than what it cost, on average, to get hitched a year earlier.

In some cities, couples ended up spending well above the national average on their weddings last year, The Knot’s research showed, with those getting married in New York, Boston, and San Francisco spending more than $50,000 on their weddings on average.

For many couples, the debt that might come with a big wedding just isn’t worth it—feeding into a societal shift that means one in four American 40-year-olds have never married.  

Not just money

However, according to Thriving Center of Psychology’s research, it wasn’t just wedding expenses that Gen Z and millennials were contemplating as they considered tying the knot.

Fears about failed relationships were also influencing young people’s approach to marriage, the survey found—as were societal expectations.

Almost half of those polled said they were afraid of potentially getting divorced in future. And while two-thirds said it was intrusive to ask others about their marriage plans, 38% said they had felt judged in the past for not being married yet.

More than half said they felt most of that judgment from their own mothers—with 69% of women and 27% of men saying their moms had been critical of their marital status.

However, perceptions of the importance of marriage also appear to be shifting among parents. According to a study published earlier this year by the Pew Research Center, just one in five parents of children under the age of 18 believe it’s important that their kids get married when they’re older.

Bank of Mom and Dad

Still, many American parents are continuing to follow the tradition of financially supporting their kids’ wedding plans.

A report published earlier this year by wedding registry site Zola found that among 4,000 engaged couples, 42% were having all or part of their weddings funded by their parents.

Just 16% said they were planning to pay for their own weddings in full, with those who were self-funding looking to credit cards, savings, loans, and crowdfunding if they weren’t able to pay the costs upfront.

For some, however, having a dream wedding doesn’t have to mean forking out tens of thousands of dollars.

While some brides opt to save money by buying secondhand wedding dresses, other couples settle on DIY weddings to cut costs.

Meanwhile, Taco Bell has forayed into America’s $70 billion wedding industry, offering budget packages for engaged couples who happen to be mega fans of the fast-food giant.

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