At 4 a.m. on Christmas Day in 2016, I vividly remember sitting in my living room with my wife wrapping gifts for our kids, while also communicating with my co-founder, who was the CTO, on Slack. To my amazement, almost the entire team was active on Slack at that moment. The reason? We were getting ready to demonstrate our product at CES, one of the world’s largest consumer technology expos, and they were too embarrassed to fail. Some were putting together the presentation deck and other deliverables, while others were working tirelessly to ensure that the platform was functioning smoothly. Given the level of dedication and commitment that our team was showing even on Christmas morning and my own experience, I couldn’t help but feel confident that we were going to succeed.
There are two types of embarrassment: feeling like you will disappoint your supporters (your friends, family, employees, investors, industry peers, and clients) or feeling like you don’t want to give your “haters” the satisfaction of seeing you fail. The only thing more palpable than the fear of embarrassment is the fear of death.
People only feel embarrassed when they think they should have been better prepared or that something happened that they believe shouldn’t have happened.
Looking back at my childhood, I remember my father always telling me that if I wanted to succeed, I had to work harder than anyone else. He reminded me of what Rev. Jesse L. Jackson used to say, “If you can conceive it in your mind, you can achieve it.”
My father came to the U.S., from St. Kitts and Nevis and worked several jobs to ensure that our family had everything we needed. His advice about working hard and persevering has stayed with me, and looking back, it was perhaps my fear of embarrassment and disappointment that fueled my desire to make the business a success. Eventually, I secured a nine-figure exit surpassing the “more experienced” and “better fit” investments of the premier funds’ lemmings.
My fear of embarrassment helped me battle through constant rejection from premier venture capital funds as a young Black CEO who didn’t attend an Ivy League university or work at a major tech company. Most of the VC funds wouldn’t even meet with me. Instead of letting these failures defeat me, I used them as fuel to prove the VC funds wrong. I secured angel investors, smaller venture capital funds, state investment vehicles, and strategic corporate investors.
In the early days of Tru Optik, there were many months when my co-founder and I had to take as little as possible to keep the company moving forward. Our team saw how hard we were working, and it became contagious. They were never hesitant to work long hours.
The fear of embarrassment still motivates me as a CEO and entrepreneur. Having a great idea, and working smart isn’t enough. You need perseverance and stamina.
Being too embarrassed to fail and allowing your detractors to be right, along with the support and encouragement you get from those who believe in you, can truly fire you up. No one can limit your aspirations but you.
Andre Swanston, “Mr. Exit,” was the co-founder and CEO of Tru Optik, a data and identity streaming media advertising company, which was acquired by TransUnion in one of the only 9-figure exits by a Black American.
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