This 'financial astrologer' sees the future of Bitcoin—and says it could go to zero

Eugene Fama, the legendary Nobel laureate in economic sciences, once treated this writer to an amusing comment relating astrologers to the world of investment. This was years after I first met Fama while an MBA student at the University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business; we played tennis almost every day one spring. When Gene—a relentless retriever—took his eye off the ball, he was pioneering the efficient market theory positing that Wall Street analysts can’t do any better picking stocks than a kid throwing darts at the daily quotes in the Wall Street Journal. “I’d say the stock pickers are like astrologers,” quipped Gene in this trademark Boston twang. “But I wouldn’t want to bad-mouth the astrologers.”

So when I received an email from a financial astrologer from Ireland who claims that lunar charts explain the fluctuations and future of Bitcoin, I recalled Fama’s quip. I’ve long been mystified by Bitcoin’s wild swings based on celebrity endorsements and disses; its gigantic valuation despite practically no practical uses outside of speculation; and the lack of fundamentals that allows its fans to invent just about any futuristic rationale for how it’s headed for $100,000 or $200,000 or $500,000. I thought what’s written in the stars about Bitcoin’s prospects might make as much sense as Wall Street’s, Elon Musk’s, and Michael Saylor’s “it’s the future” scenario.

Hey, how could an astrologer’s view of Bitcoin be any crazier than the Bitcoin phenomenon itself? As it turns out, while the celestial powers the stargazer cites—cryptocurrency’s powerful birth sign threatened by intrusions of “wishy-washy” planetary cycles—don’t sound exactly like market forces, their sober prediction that Bitcoin’s in trouble may make a lot more sense than its fans’ moonshot scenario. If you have to pick from two fantasies, the astrologer’s vision sounds pretty good.

Bitcoin’s birth sign relation to Pluto is all about destruction

The email came from Clarisse Monahan, a professional astrologer who lives outside Dublin and writes about what her profession is telling her about Bitcoin on her website venusinretrograde.com. Monahan also invests in cryptocurrencies herself, and by her own account, has fared well trading on the signs and cycles. She started her career as a junior analyst at Goldman Sachs before moving to recruiting financial professionals for consulting firm Robert Half International. In a 40-minute conversation, the ebullient Monahan described Bitcoin’s potent astrological beginnings, how its chart is closely tied to Musk’s, and how it’s losing its luster already and could well go to zero. Meanwhile, the stars are aligning brilliantly for such rivals as Ethereum and Cardano.

Steering Bitcoin’s journey is its “birth chart.” That’s the astrological pattern that prevailed the day it was launched by “Satoshi Nakamoto,” on Jan. 3, 2009. Hence, Bitcoin was born a Capricorn. “It’s sign of the industrious goal,” says Monahan. “Capricorn is associated with money, institutions, bankers, and hierarchy. The sign is stoic. It’s all about how what came before is what it should always be.” But Bitcoin’s entrance crucially came just a few months after Capricorn’s Pluto cycle began. “What’s so ferocious about Bitcoin’s chart is that Pluto is a sign of complete destruction,” she notes. Pluto moving into Capricorn was the harbinger of a sweeping upheaval in the world of finance. “Pluto destructs whatever it comes in contact with. And it clashed with Capricorn, the sign of tradition,” adds Monahan. Pluto’s arrival, she says, heralded the Great Financial Crisis. It also signaled that Bitcoin would disrupt the old-line regime represented by Capricorn. “Pluto blows things up,” she says. “It did that with the subprime craze. Bitcoin was born out of that destruction, and was seen as the solution.”

This great run, the stars are telling her, will soon end. Pluto will move on to Aquarius at the close of its Capricorn cycle on March 23, 2023. “The destructive force that backed Bitcoin will move to the next thing,” says Monahan. “Bitcoin will have served its purpose as a prototype and trailblazer.” The astrological signals, says Monahan, foretell that Bitcoin will remain a force until Pluto departs. But she doubts it will ever reach even $100,000 in those 19 months, and is more likely to hover between $30,000 and $50,000. “Pluto is already losing its astrological magic as the end of the Pluto cycle approaches,” says Monahan. After losing Pluto’s power, Bitcoin will go into free fall, she predicts. Monahan believes that the signature cryptocurrency could well have no value sometime from mid-2023 onwards.

Ethereum, she says, has a much better chart going forward. “Its birth sign is the royal Leo. Ethereum has a powerhouse chart loaded with exalted planets,” declares Monahan. “It’s a chart that has legs, unlike the Bitcoin chart. The Bitcoin chart is more like a bomb.” Overall, Monahan believes that led by such stars at Ethereum and Cardano, cryptocurrencies have a great future. That’s especially true because the redoubtable Pluto is moving on to Aquarius, an air sign that rules technology and the future of transactions.

The Musk and Bitcoin charts are closely related

Musk was born a Cancer on June 28, 1971. “His personal planets are closely correlated with the planets in the Bitcoin chart,” says Monahan. In Musk’s alignment, Mercury plays a central role. “It’s the planet of communication. It’s his speech. Mercury represents the fast, clear, objective elements of Musk’s speech and tweets.” It makes a harmonious connection to Bitcoin’s Pluto. “That combination means that Musk can be the perfect promoter, pumping up a cryptocurrency or any other project.” But that same combination can inspire Musk to rip projects apart just as powerfully. Says Monahan, “That explains why one minute it’s this way, and the next minute it does a 180.”

The confluence of Mercury and Pluto, she says, explains why Musk careens between using his towering platform to alternately laud and denigrate Bitcoin. “Musk’s Mercury is exactly opposite the Bitcoin sun and Pluto, and the opposites attract. That interaction is correlated with Musk’s tweets,” says Monahan. The day that the Tesla chief unveiled his concerns over Bitcoin’s carbon footprint and announced that the EV maker would no longer accept it as payment, she says, has a sound astrological explanation. “It was the same day that he was having a difficult transit that caused the reversal and confusion that he expressed,” says Monahan.

For Bitcoin skeptics whose doubts aren’t founded in astrology, what’s equivalent to the departure of Pluto, the blow-it-up force that made Bitcoin? It might be a loss of faith among zealots who believe the huge run-up in its price isn’t a speculative frenzy at all, but a sign that Bitcoin will find widespread use in the everyday lives of families and businesses. The Pluto moment could come when it’s clear the uses won’t arrive, and the believers stop believing. This Irish astrologer believes Bitcoin’s Pluto moment is at hand.