• Home
  • News
  • Fortune 500
  • Tech
  • Finance
  • Leadership
  • Lifestyle
  • Rankings
  • Multimedia

Bored with the bailout

By
Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing
Down Arrow Button Icon
By
Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing
Down Arrow Button Icon
October 6, 2008, 10:31 AM ET



Bailout? That was SO last week. The economy? Can’t we just declare a moratorium on the issue, like one of the candidates has suggested?

Sure we can. Now… Let’s see what else we can think about.

How about the beautiful Autumn colors? And how many people will now be enjoying them all the more because they have to walk, being no longer able to afford the price of a Sunday ride to the country? No, no. that’s not right.

How about the upcoming World Series? The Fall classic! We used to all hunker down as an entire nation and plug ourselves into it, game by game, just the way we sit around for hours now watching the red numbers go by at the bottom of the CNBC crawl… wait. Let’s start over.

How about all the sounds of the little children as they get themselves off to school? How fast they grow! Turn around and they’ll be marching off to college in no time, to the tune of $50,000 per year, money that was recently all-but assured in the low-risk money market fund that’s now down 20% year-to-year… good Lord. Hm.

How about the pleasures of the home? The feeling that we get as we gather around the hearth together for an evening, ma and pa quietly reading in their rockers, little Johnny and Jenny sprawled on the hook rug doing their homework, Alfalfa the old hound dog gnawing on the remains of a $30 t-bone. How we all scrimped and saved for that house! No, it’s not perfect. As the winter winds begin to head down from the north, you can feel the cold seep in from the windows, which need fixing again, could cost a couple thousand dollars there for sure, and the roof, well, let’s just hope it’s got another year or three in it, because that could be another $20,000 easy, which would be hard to bear since the Adjustable Rate Mortgage we took out in 1995 suddenly isn’t looking like such a good idea and there won’t be any raises for a good long time and, you know, it’s possible, things being what they are that there might not be any bonus coming in February… think about that. No bonus.

Just might have to sell the cow to make ends meet.

You see? It should be easy to stop thinking about the economy. Now if I could just stop thinking about money…

About the Author
By Stanley Bing
See full bioRight Arrow Button Icon
0

Most Popular

placeholder alt text
Big Tech
Mark Zuckerberg rebranded Facebook for the metaverse. Four years and $70 billion in losses later, he’s moving on
By Eva RoytburgDecember 5, 2025
1 day ago
placeholder alt text
Economy
Two months into the new fiscal year and the U.S. government is already spending more than $10 billion a week servicing national debt
By Eleanor PringleDecember 4, 2025
3 days ago
placeholder alt text
Success
Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang admits he works 7 days a week, including holidays, in a constant 'state of anxiety' out of fear of going bankrupt
By Jessica CoacciDecember 4, 2025
2 days ago
placeholder alt text
Success
‘Godfather of AI’ says Bill Gates and Elon Musk are right about the future of work—but he predicts mass unemployment is on its way
By Preston ForeDecember 4, 2025
2 days ago
placeholder alt text
Success
Nearly 4 million new manufacturing jobs are coming to America as boomers retire—but it's the one trade job Gen Z doesn't want
By Emma BurleighDecember 4, 2025
2 days ago
placeholder alt text
Asia
Despite their ‘no limits’ friendship, Russia is paying a nearly 90% markup on sanctioned goods from China—compared with 9% from other countries
By Jason MaNovember 29, 2025
7 days ago
Rankings
  • 100 Best Companies
  • Fortune 500
  • Global 500
  • Fortune 500 Europe
  • Most Powerful Women
  • Future 50
  • World’s Most Admired Companies
  • See All Rankings
Sections
  • Finance
  • Leadership
  • Success
  • Tech
  • Asia
  • Europe
  • Environment
  • Fortune Crypto
  • Health
  • Retail
  • Lifestyle
  • Politics
  • Newsletters
  • Magazine
  • Features
  • Commentary
  • Mpw
  • CEO Initiative
  • Conferences
  • Personal Finance
  • Education
Customer Support
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Customer Service Portal
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms Of Use
  • Single Issues For Purchase
  • International Print
Commercial Services
  • Advertising
  • Fortune Brand Studio
  • Fortune Analytics
  • Fortune Conferences
  • Business Development
About Us
  • About Us
  • Editorial Calendar
  • Press Center
  • Work At Fortune
  • Diversity And Inclusion
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Site Map

© 2025 Fortune Media IP Limited. All Rights Reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy | CA Notice at Collection and Privacy Notice | Do Not Sell/Share My Personal Information
FORTUNE is a trademark of Fortune Media IP Limited, registered in the U.S. and other countries. FORTUNE may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.