Well, we had our Holiday party last night and it was the best one ever. There are several metrics one can use to measure such things, including the number of pigs-in-a-blanket consumed (875, not counting 3 that were dropped on the floor and found afterwards), empty bottles of booze collected (still being counted), the number of phone calls and e-mails afterwards (increase of 48.6% over last year), the guest count (flat to sightly up over prior year), among others.
A great party is designated by several qualities:
- Density: the gathering must clot properly and be difficult to negotiate at a certain point not too distant from its inception;
- Volume: it must become incredibly difficult to hear anything substantive. This leads to increased flow as people get tired of trying to conduct “real” conversation and move themselves to new locations;
- Implosion: last night at 7 PM, an hour after the official commencement, those aware of this phenomenon could hear the deep, virtually inaudible sound of the party exploding inward, the sign that it had truly commenced in earnest;
- Stickiness: A party that gets hot but only stays hot for a short time is not a really successful one. The great festivals implode and stay alight for hours, as people complain about the noise, the discomfort, the difficulty of getting to the bar, but still remain on location, sucking up fun, rubbing elbows and other things.
- Length: Perhaps the ultimate measurement of success. This year’s event clocked in at 3.1 hours, which left me as limp afterwards as a wet noodle, and was fully .6 hours more lengthy than that of the year before.
All these metrics improve upon those of 2006, which was itself a record year in all regards. I would now insert a number of amusing graphs, but don’t know how to do so technically in this format. Efforts are now continuing to get that job done in 2008. In the meantime, you can watch my holiday party advice video here.
