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September 25, 2007, 3:02 PM UTC

Scott from Washington, D.C. weighs in with a brilliant idea. “Bing,” he writes, commenting on my churlish refusal to spend my time engaging in social networking, “could I score one of those iPods uselessly gathering dust? Neighborhood kids stole mine.” Scott is referring  to my offhand mention in that post of extra elderly IPods cluttering up my personal space. 

Great concept, Scott! But why should YOU get it when there are so many people out there who are iPodless for one reason or another? Sure, I could pop my old first-gen 20 gig iPod into a padded envelope and send it out to Scott right now. But what fun would that be for anybody but Scott? Why not make a contest out of it?

So that’s what we’re going to do. If any of you now reading this can think of a single reason I should send you my old but perfectly functional iPod, please leave a comment here. I will judge the most convincing, outrageous or demented one, and indeed award its author the discrete object of his or her desire. Scott’s reason is that neighborhood kids stole his. That’s compelling. Perhaps you can do even better. We’ll never know until you try.  

Send in your supplications. They should make for tasty reading. And if nobody answers I’ll just keep the ancient but still highly efficient relic for myself. Either way, I win. That’s my kind of game, ladies and gentlemen.