“Confidence is the stuff that turns thoughts into action.”

In all my years researching this subject, that is still the smartest and most useful definition I’ve heard. It came from Dr. Richard Petty, a professor of psychology at Ohio State University, who described confidence as the quality that pushes us to confront our fears, take on new challenges and move from idea to execution.

And that matters, because thoughts without action do not get us very far.

The other powerful thing about confidence is that it is circular. We build it by doing. When we step outside our comfort zone, take a risk, make a mistake, overcome a hurdle and keep going, we become more confident. Confidence is not a vibe, a manner or a personality trait. It is a tangible skill that can be earned, practised and learned.

The mistake many workplaces make is rewarding the people who already appear confident, rather than helping more people develop confidence in the first place.

2. The confidence gap isn’t a women’s issue. It’s a business failure

We are living through a moment in which women are not progressing at work. In many cases, they are falling back. The combination of workplace changes caused by COVID and the political backlash against DEI programmes has meant fewer women are being promoted into senior roles.

The Economist magazine, citing a study by S&P Global, reported just this month that a combination of workplace changes caused by COVID and the dismantling of DEI policies have led to women leaning out: women’s share of executive positions in listed American companies fell for the first time in 2023 after nearly 20 years of uninterrupted growth; women secured fewer new board seats at companies in the S&P 500; and the share of female partners and managing directors at Goldman Sachs have declined.

That hurts women, but it also hurts companies.

Closing the gap between men and women at work is not a “PC” issue. It is a bottom-line issue. More than a dozen global studies, including from the International Monetary Fund, the European Union, Goldman Sachs, Pepperdine University, now show that companies with more women in leadership outperform their competitors.  Companies benefit when they create environments where talented women are encouraged to stay, grow and lead.

When women are held back, told they need to fully master a role before they are even considered for it, or penalised for showing ambition, it is no wonder they can feel they do not fit in as easily as their male colleagues. The modern workplace was largely designed by and for men. It has been that way for decades, so it is not surprising that there is a well-documented confidence gap between men and women.

It is not personal. It is structural.

Retaining and promoting female talent is not just the right thing to do. It is the smart thing to do.

3. The best leaders are not fearless. They have learned to act while afraid

Whenever you try something new, there is an element of fear. You might make a mistake. You might fail. You might not be perfect.

The question is whether you let that fear stop you.

The most impressive people I have interviewed still experience doubt, failure and uncertainty. What separates them is not fearlessness, but the ability to move forward anyway. They acknowledge their fears, but they do not allow those fears to make the decision for them. Superstar Peloton instructor Ally Love told me in an interview for the podcast that she combats her moments of fear by going first – that’s how she makes sure her doubts and insecurities don’t stop her from taking action.

Perhaps they understand that doubt is normal. Fear is normal. Uncertainty is part of being human. So they give themselves a bit of grace, and then they act.

That, in the end, is what real confidence looks like.

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