More and more women are the primary earners in heterosexual relationships in the U.S., an enormous shift in household financial dynamics from even a few decades ago. But traditional thinking about money and relationships hasn’t changed much, according to a new report, and that could continue to hold women back.
Around 30% of U.S. women in heterosexual couples earn more income than their spouse or partner, according to UBS’s 2023 Own Your Worth report. But just half of those women breadwinners take the lead on financial responsibilities in their households, compared to 79% of men in the same position. And women who earn more are also less engaged in short- and long-term financial decisions, and feel less knowledgeable about investing than men.
Women are also much less likely than men to say financial decision-making is “natural” for them. Less than half—49%—of women primary earners in heterosexual relationships say they prefer that arrangement, compared to 87% of men breadwinners.
“The face of wealth is becoming increasingly female,” says Carey Shuffman, head of UBS’s women’s strategic client segment. “But there’s a lot of room to grow.”
UBS’s report, which surveyed over 800 high-earning couples, points to a number of reasons for this unease. There’s societal pressures, which still favor traditional gender roles in which the man in the relationship is in charge of the finances. In fact, half of the households with a woman breadwinner in UBS’s survey said their friends and family assumed the man is the primary earner, and they never corrected them.
And there’s also internal insecurities from a male partner to contend with, says Shuffman. According to UBS’s survey, men who are not the primary earner are less trustful of their wife’s investing and spending habits than men who are the primary earner. And more than half of non-primary-earning men say the financial arrangement causes tension in their relationship. Those same insecurities were less prevalent in same-sex female couples that UBS surveyed, and when women were not the primary earner in opposite-sex relationships.
And then there’s simply the lack of time many women have. Like other research has found, UBS’s survey confirms that women breadwinners in relationships with men still take on the bulk of the housework and childcare—unpaid labor that gives them less time to spend on learning and managing the household finances.
“If you don’t have time and you have a partner or spouse who does…it becomes very easy to create this divide-and-conquer approach,” says Shuffman.
Previous research has found that as the gender pay gap closes between a husband and wife, the gender housework gap actually increases, with the higher-earning woman taking on even more housework, reflecting “deeply held beliefs about who should be a breadwinner and who should take care of the home.” Women do both.
Shuffman says acknowledging these dynamics is the first step to changing them. She says communication between partners and with financial professionals is important to help women take a more active role in their finances.
“By calling out the challenges, hopefully that’s a critical step to better support them on their financial journeys and knock down those barriers,” she says.
