Stephen Colbert: Donald Trump Threatening to ‘Wipe His Fat A– with the Constitution’
Once again, Stephen Colbert hosted a live edition of The Late Show on CBS last night in order to get the first crack at cracking jokes about the final presidential debate.
“We just witnessed the third and final presidential debate, because two is not enough and I think four would make us go cannibal,” Colbert said to kick off his opening monologue.
Following Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump’s last debate face-off, Colbert hit the air with instant reactions and analysis to some of the biggest moments of the evening. That certainly included Trump’s refusal to promise that he will accept the results of the election on Nov. 8, no matter who wins. “I will keep you in suspense,” Trump told the debate moderator, Fox News’ Chris Wallace.
“Oh, Suspense!” Colbert cried in mock excitement. “Democracy is going to end with a cliffhanger! I guess we’re all going to have to wait until November 9 to see if we still have a democracy, to see if Donald Trump is in the mood for a peaceful transfer of power, or if he’s going to wipe his fat ass with the Constitution.”
Colbert mocked Trump’s innuendo that the elections might be “rigged,” noting Trump also claimed the Emmys are rigged in 2012,2013, and 2014. (The Television Academy has denied that.) Holding his two Emmys, Colbert said, “You know, Donald, you really should get one. They’re fantastic… I think this year he might get one. If Trump lost to The Amazing Race, this year, it could go to the amazing racist.”
Colbert also said he was surprised that Trump agreed to debate in Las Vegas, at the University of Nevada, joking that Trump “hasn’t had a lot of luck with casinos . . . or universities,” in reference to the GOP nominee’s past failed businesses.
Later, Colbert welcomed as a guest Nate Silver, the data journalist and founder of FiveThirtyEight.com, which offers regularly-updated statistical models predicting the election’s outcome. Silver’s site remains popular with Americans despite the fact that he was famously wrong about Trump’s chances to win the GOP primary. (Silver tried to explain the misfire to Colbert, saying “We had silly ideas and didn’t look at the polls.”)
But, when it comes to the general election, Silver still doesn’t think Trump has much of a chance to defeat Clinton. As of Thursday morning, FiveThirtyEight’s Election Forecast gives Clinton an 87.2% chance to win the election, with Trump at just 12.7%.
“It’s not looking too good for Donald J. Trump,” Silver told Colbert.
“The problem is right now he has only about 38 percent of the vote, Clinton has about 45 percent of the vote,” Silver said of Trump. “There are some undecideds left. I don’t think he did a good job of persuading them tonight.”