— Apple earnings hinge on success of THIS
— Apple earnings: It’s all about the capital return program
— Apple Earnings: All About the iPhone, Baby
— Apple is about to break out. Here’s why

What’s up is down…

— Apple’s sheer size is its stock’s real weakness
— Apple Runs Up Against Its Own Success
— Is Apple Too Expensive to Buy Right Now?
— Can Apple earnings top its historic last quarter?

The expectations game…

— How Apple can whiff on earnings and still beat expectations
— Apple Likely To Break ‘All Records’ In March Quarter
— Apple? Too much expectation: Cramer
— Apple will set Q2 records today, but can they live up to colossal expectations?

Irrelevant “watch” puns…

— What to watch for in Apple’s earnings
— What to ‘Watch’ in Apple’s Earnings
— Why Apple’s Watch could call time on its share price

What else can you show me?

— Apple’s Earnings — What Does It Do for an Encore?

Apple’s fiscal Q2 2015 earnings results are due out half an hour after the market close. We’ll be eavesdropping on the 5 p.m. ET (2 p.m. PT) analysts call. You can too. Here’s the link: www.apple.com/quicktime/qtv/earningsq215

Follow Philip Elmer-DeWitt on Twitter at @philiped. Read his Apple (AAPL) coverage at fortune.com/ped or subscribe via his RSS feed.