Dear Dell: Don’t you dare

February 1, 2013, 10:00 PM UTC

FORTUNE — There are multiple reports that the Dell Inc. (DELL) buyout is nearing the finish line, as Silver Lake Partners and Michael Dell plan to spend the weekend crossing T’s and dotting I’s.

Reuters suggests that an official announcement could come “as early as Monday,” while the NY Post thinks it could actually come the night before.

By the night before, it means during the Super Bowl. Or just before kickoff. Or just after the confetti stops falling.

Let me quickly sketch out how this will play in my house:

Me: “Honey, I need to go upstairs to work for an hour or so.”

Wife: “But you invited all these people over to watch the game.”

Me: “Yeah, about that… Could you entertain them and make sure all the food I’m grilling comes out okay. Thanks.”

Wife: “But one of them brought a baby who’s sleeping in your office.”

Me: “I’ll type quietly.”

Wife: “@#%/23%@#?5@#@#!@%!@#!” [I’m paraphrasing here]

Look, I get it. Media reports about this deal have probably inflated the price a bit. And since we’re talking about one of the largest leveraged buyouts in history, even just a 1% bump means hundreds of millions of dollars. So announcing on Super Bowl Sunday would be a nice little return jab at the collective hackerati.

But it’s not like reporters make this stuff up. Leaks typically come from bankers looking to scare up a rival bid, or other service providers whose commissions rise alongside deal size. Or perhaps from some vested senior Dell execs who don’t plan to stick around.

So please Dell, I beg of you not to ruin our Super Bowl by announcing on Sunday night. You’ve been keeping your (official) mouth shut about this for weeks now. A few more hours won’t hurt.

Thank you for your consideration.

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