10 things we learned at the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission

1.  Nobody looks good taking a show trial perp oath, which is probably what it’s for.

2. When you’re leaving a venue after testifying, keep walking. If you don’t, the guys with the pads and microphones will swarm you and make you answer questions like, “Mr. Dimon! Does Wall Street get it?”

3. It is possible to be sorry without actually apologizing, and probably a pretty good idea. As Jamie Dimon noted, those who want apologies “have to be very specific” about their requirements, or they are open to charges that 1) they weren’t sorry enough, 2) they were sorry for the wrong things, 3) now that they are sorry, how will they be held accountable?

4. Congress is very big on accountability.

5. Wall Street appears to be in favor of more regulation! Did you know that? I didn’t.

6. In spite of Wall Street’s many sophisticated and profound ideas on regulatory reform, for some reason the lobbying groups representing it appear to be in strong opposition to most legislative efforts in that regard. Does anybody have an explanation for this apparent disconnect?

7. Money cannot buy handsomeness.

8. The aura of power and authority are almost entirely contextual.

9.  It is extremely tedious to observe an inquiry about how to safeguard cows when they have already left the barn.

10. Everybody who’s getting a bonus this year will be able to keep it.

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