What I’d like covered by the bailout

September 22, 2008, 3:26 PM UTC

Sure enough, everybody and his aunt Mary is lining up to take a piece of the bailout. I applaud their efforts. Why should only the fattest of the fat cats get the meat and potatoes? Yes, they need it more than most, because it’s hardest on the best fed when the supper plate is empty. But still. Fair is fair. 

I’m sure you have your own list. Here’s mine: 

I would like some help with my two mortgages. It was hard enough to sustain one, but this second one is sort of killing me. I can make it. But it won’t be easy. If we’re sweeping up a bunch of ill-considered obligations into the cooking pot, I’d like Uncle Sam to consider mine. They’re no more idiotic than many, and smarter than most. 

I’d like the lease on my car to be bought out, or at least reduced. At the time I selected the two-year option on that bright red, eight-cylinder, genuine leather interior turbo-charged Deutche monster, the $800 per month seemed achievable. I suppose it still is, but it’s darned inconvenient. I’d much rather it was lower, which would make it easier for me to pay off my other debts. Is it possible that those of us who have leased or purchased too much car for our wallet can be offered some assistance at this juncture? I know there’s spirited debate on who’s going to get what right now between Democrats and Republicans. Would one of the two parties, during this election year, like my vote? 

Then there’s my American Express bill. I’ll be hanged if I know how, but my balance has crept up to an amazing sum. More than $10,000! I suppose that paying the minimum for almost a year while living the dream may have something to do with it. Cameras. Computers. IPods. Vacations, now and then. Pretty soon you’ve got a whopping big nut to crack and eat. I’ll be honest with you, it scared me to look at it when I finally took a peek online last week. If I have to clear that debt, I’ll be cash poor for quite some time, unless I borrow more. That would be inadvisable, I think. 

It’s also my view, taken from a purely selfish perspective, which I don’t think is inappropriate given the circumstances, that credit card debt should in one form or another be included in this package. If it isn’t, think of the consequences! People would have to stop buying on time. Many, many honest, hardworking Americans just like me would perhaps default on their loans. The entire credit structure of our society, and the mercantile system upon which it is built, would falter! Do we want to risk that? 

There’s much more I could come up with if I really thought about it, I’m sure. So please, gentlemen. When you’re coming up with your list of those who receive the plums from this very large pie, don’t forget the working person. We were pretty stupid, too, you know.

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