Strategic Planning Consultant

August 28, 2007, 6:45 PM UTC
Fortune

A reader from Washington, D.C. writes…

This is not my job, but I have been the trapped innocent victim of the “”strategic planning consultant”” who has held captive scores of us in meetings that go for hours and it’s ALL BULLSHIT! Hours in planning that results only in more BS meetings to talk about “”next steps, mission, vision and goals”” …that means they can invoice for thousands of dollars to inflict miindnumbing pain that morphs one into a coma-like state despite coffee, peanut m&m’s and “”break out groups”” – your only chance for brief respite to vent if you have any sane people in your group.

But no – you only have the true believers that barf out all of the buzz words, phrases and acronyms that have been droned on about the first part of the day from hell. So, in the small breakout group, emerge the “”leaders and visionaries”” of this group and Oh shit..another strategic POD professional has been cloned.

Like a cult, another true believer is born and ready to be part of this BS industry!

Me? I’m the one with a mental block about how any of the verbage means productive outcome for anyone other than paying for a new beach house and a vacation in Tuscany. So, after 8 hours you leave with a presentation folder full of charts, color coded “planning sheets”, “technique tips”, “” tools”” and the “”notes”” area that is blank except for doodled “”HELP ME”” and “”UGH!”” entries. Coffee-logged but desperate for freedom you stumble out of hell and do all you can to avoid the follow up conference call in six weeks to report progress on …BS.

Living in Washington DC there is an endless amount of BS jobs – it’s the absolute BS mecca of the world! Here all BS who BS are highly regarded. The political hacks, the government agency bureaurcrats on local and federal levels, the corporates that pour in and out and their PACS, the endless nonprofit, international and academic realms – all full of BS jobs that go on without limits. From what I can tell only sanatation workers and Starbuck’s baristas work.

What do you think? Is this a bulls**t job?