“There comes a time in every business person’s life when one’s brain needs to function in analog mode,” said Bing as he pawed over his Cobb Salad looking for a last bit of bacon. “I believe that Memorial Day is recognized as a day of family recreation and personal enjoyment, even by hypertensive moguls who work every day and expect their subordinates to do the same. In declaring Memorial Day a period of rest from obsessive, intrusive, pathetically nerdy omnivorous accessibility, we are tapping into the values that continue to make America the land of the free.”

Bing called upon others in the business community to embrace what he referred to as “my bold, humanistic vision,” and to ditch the device made by Research in Motion (RIMM) and others like it.

He also added that he will be checking his laptop several times a day and will continue to be available via cell and landline to those who know those numbers.