Name: Putting a Price on Suffering
Uploaded: 2019-06-26
Duration: 10 min 35 s
Description: Negotiating a settlement in sexual abuse cases often brings more pain.

 I started seeing Larry Nassar at the age of eight right here in my hometown of Lansing. He was known as the best gymnastics doctor in the world. I was treated by Larry for any and all of my injuries from ages 8 till I was 18. I thought that training for the Olympics would be the hardest thing that I would ever have to do. But in fact, the hardest thing I've ever had to do is process that I'm a victim of Larry Nassar. I will never get back those years of mental suffering. I want my old self back, the me I was before Larry. I want to be joyous and confident again. My mom and dad think that this is their fault. They are suffering so bad, just like I am. [MUSIC PLAYING] When these young girls and women would come to us, they were very broken, very shaken, very vulnerable. They wanted basically three things-- transparency. They wanted accountability, and that would bring them justice, justice in the civil sense. The problem in a case like Nassar's is trying to determine what is mental damage worth. My name is Grace French. I'm 23 years old. I grew up in Okemos, Michigan. Currently work in Detroit, Michigan. The first appointment that I vividly remember was when I was 12. I had played a really rough game of Red Rover on the playground and sprained my wrist. So I went to see the only doctor that we knew for osteopathic medicine and injuries like that. I knew him through dance and through referrals as a dancer. And so went to see him for my wrist injury. It was probably Rachael Denhollander's story and the Indy Star was when I first started realizing what had happened to me and to a lot of the girls that I had danced with growing up. And that's when it really-- I don't know-- really started-- I started to understand what had happened and how it impacted me. And from there, the pieces really started to fall into place. We represented 1/3 of the initial 333, or 111, survivors. The court appearances for each individual was minimized by the agreement of both sides to enter into facilitation mediation process with a facilitator. And he did want to meet a sampling. With anything legal, I think you have a lot of interaction with your attorneys. And my attorneys were great, don't get me wrong. But I think it's just like a constant reminder of like you still have to go through these things and jump through these hoops in order to have a day where you don't have to think about it, because you'll be having a day where you haven't thought about your abuse, and then you'll get a call from your attorney, and you're back in it again. So-- Every survivor is in a process. And everyone came to us at a different point in their process. The scarring will never go away. The range of damage ranged from a hospitalized for long periods of time, some for shorter period of time, post-traumatic stress disorder that resulted in physical manifestations like losing hair, intestinal issues, sleep loss, nightmares, panic attacks. Based on input from each of the victims, you try and develop a matrix, reflective of the harm done the individual versus let's just divide up the money equally and be done with it. Some were violated once. Some were violated 600 times. I thought to myself, was the person who was violated 600 times worth 600 times more? I don't think so. I think one time is one time too many. This is from when Grace made her public statement, my daughter. And she says, "It has taken time to find my voice, but I speak now for that little girl who sat terrified in his office, afraid to speak up, because maybe it really was treatment. I know I'm stronger than anything he did to me. I have grown up, and I'm no longer afraid to speak up." I was affected by Larry. He did hurt me. And he hurt hundreds of other young women. All that time you were helping me you were just manipulating me so that you could take advantage of me. But even though I'm a victim, I do not and will not live my life as one. Over 140 women have bravely come forward, not only for ourselves, but to ensure that you can never hurt another child or destroy another family again. Why does one victim get x and the other gets x minus y? It's a lot easier when you got a broken arm or a brain injury or a bullet wound. It's a lot more difficult when you're trying to allocate money among victims, all of whom, or largely all of whom, have suffered mental injury, not physical injury. That makes it tough. When you do have a settlement, that amount, the survivor feels like that is how the world is going to quantify their pain. So that number to them is how the world sees their worth and sees how much their pain is worth. So it's hard. It's like knowing what your life is worth. Like who would ever want to know that? The real cost is such a deep emotional scar and living with this knowledge and pain every day and being in a community that also is suffering. How do you pay for that? Do I think the settlement was fair? I try not to even think about the money. What's fair? I just don't even know what fair means anymore. Just like trust. What is trust? What is fair? The actual $500 million settlement was broken into two pieces, $425 million to be allocated for the initial 333, and $75 million was held in reserve for any subsequent claims. The symbol associated with the reality of compensation is an acknowledgment, a validation, that the innocent victim was in fact innocent, was exposed to this danger, suffered. And the symbolic existential significance is that society acknowledges the wrong that's been done to the victim. Very important that acknowledgment, that validation. You are telling the truth. You were an innocent victim. The first moment when I was in court was very pivotal, because I think it really started in sink in. It was the point where I realized that I could be broken, but I could be fixed. And so it was the point where I realized that my healing journey would start from. I think I find it helpful to care for living things. And so self-care for me is a lot of, I guess, caring for another living thing, which is myself. And there are things that I forget to do when I'm having a bad week. I've made a little list, like make sure you go grocery shopping, make sure you clean, make sure you water your plants, things like that where it feel like I'm accomplishing something. And that really helps me be. I started a nonprofit organization, which was huge, I think, for me in healing. We're really focused on education and resources and really just trying to be a voice for survivors and athletes, so that they feel like they have someone fighting for them and that they feel like they have an army standing behind them. Activism and doing these things really helps me heal. It feels like I'm doing something. I'm creating a better world, because I feel like the pain that I have currently and the pain that I went through shouldn't ever have to be experienced anybody ever. So doing these things, I'm hoping that I create a better world. [MUSIC PLAYING] 

Putting a Price on Suffering

Health

Negotiating a settlement in sexual abuse cases often brings more pain.