Macalope v. Winotaur on the Microsoft Surface

June 26, 2012, 12:33 PM UTC

The Macalope

FORTUNE — When it comes to puncturing bombast and anti-Apple FUD (fear, uncertainty and doubt), nobody is sharper than the Macalope, Macworld‘s longtime comic columnist. In Monday’s post, the mythical beast and his old friend the Winotaur debated last week’s event in which Microsoft (MSFT) unveiled its answer to Apple’s (AAPL) iPad. An excerpt:

MACALOPE: Hey, what’s with not allowing anyone during the hands-on to actually, well, put their hands on the devices?

WINOTAUR: Sometimes there’s a product that’s just too hot to handle, you know, bro?

MACALOPE: Don’t call the Macalope “bro.” But, to be clear, what you’re saying is that they run hot.


MACALOPE: Wicked hot. Too hot to hold. Burn-your-thighs kind of hot.

WINOTAUR: Stop putting words in my mouth!

MACALOPE: Well, see, here’s the thing. We have no real experience with this device, so all that’s left for us to do is speculate. Speculate about the price, the battery life, and why you wouldn’t let anyone use one. For months. Such is the atmosphere you’ve created. These are the seeds you’ve sown. Like sands in the hourglass, so pass the days of our …

WINOTAUR: You’re just upset because now we’re the most exciting company in tech.


WINOTAUR: The most exciting company in tech.


WINOTAUR: The. Most. Exciting. Company. In. Tech.

MACALOPE: Why do you keep saying that?

WINOTAUR: I’m trying to drop a link here! Where’s the link?!

MACALOPE: Oh, nooo. You don’t link to Gizmodo in the Macalope’s column. Get your own column.

Here’s that Gizmodo link. For the rest of the exchange, click here.