* Bill Stensrud: Kaplan & Lerner don’t know what they’re talking about

* Kevin Roose crashes The Blackstone Group’s 25th anniversary bash

* Morning Call: U.S. futures point higher, London jumps early, European shares rise and the Nikkei climbs.

* Gawker: We are under attack

* Onset Ventures just sent out its latest holiday card

* Want better odds for getting your startup funded? Move to Colorado.

* Dollar-Thrifty hires consultants to learn that its CFO and CEO are underpaid

* Looking for the perfect holiday gift? How about Term Sheet’s morning emails? Sign up here.

* Bloomberg poll shows that Americans still hate TARP. No word on if Americans know that most of it has been paid back.

* Dean Takahashi: IBM makes Corpus Christie into a smarter, more sustainable city

* SEC charges RAE Systems with bribing Chinese officials. Didn’t realize there was another way to get contracts in China…

* Michael Kubin got taken: “Bernie Madoff opened my eyes. I now understand that life is a game of Minesweeper where the mines are real — and that letting someone else play for me is a losing strategy.”

* Groupon boss Andrew Mason tells Charlie Rose: “I think of us as like the N-Sync of websites.” Hmmm…. So does that mean that the company will soon be forgotten, but that Mason will go on to a great solo career? Or does Eric Lefkofsky play the TImberlake role, while Mason is just Lance Bass? Come on Charlie, these are the follow-up questions you’re getting paid to ask.

* Quote of the Day, from the late Ted Sorenson: “Captured by terrorists, Pete Peterson and I were offered a last request before being executed. Pete said, ‘If you don’t mind, I’d like to make one more speech about these unsustainable deficits.’ I said, I’ve heard that speech. My last wish is to be shot first.’”

* What’s the biggest challenge facing private equity?

[vimeo 17683834]