Stop the monetization! Now!

December 10, 2008, 7:37 PM UTC

rodWell, let’s see. We’ve killed Quality. Excellence is gone forever. And with the advent of a new show on cable, Leverage is soon to jump the shark. But idiotic euphemistic terminology is never lacking in the world we live in and there’s always a new candidate to occupy the august slot reserved for the Most Overused Word of the time we live in.

Today’s term of which I am now utterly and thoroughly sick? May we have a drum roll, please?

The word is: Monetize.

The term has finally exploded into total foolishness thanks to the soon-to-be-former Governor of the Land of Lincoln, Rod Blagojevich. This is a quote from the prosecutor’s press release, issued upon the arrest of the most (allegedly) flamboyantly egregious governor since Eliot Spitzer:

On November 10, in a lengthy telephone call with numerous advisors… Blagojevich and others discussed various ways Blagojevich could “monetize” the relationships he has made as governor to make money after leaving that office.

You will note that the term “monetize” has sanitized the process that used to be called “making money,” “profiteering,” or several other more direct verbs.

In this way, a guy selling hot watches on the street can now “monetize” his position in timepieces, as opposed to “fencing” them.

I just went to one of those conferences sponsored by an investment company. The room was filled with analysts and the stage groaned with the weight of the moguldom thereon. And everybody was monetizing things all over the place, monetizing this, monetizing that, monetizing everything all day long.

Enough. Stop the monetization now. Let’s just all start making money again.

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