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Tech tedium

By
Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing
and
Brett Krasnove
Brett Krasnove
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By
Stanley Bing
Stanley Bing
and
Brett Krasnove
Brett Krasnove
Down Arrow Button Icon
May 10, 2007, 3:04 PM ET

I’m happy to tell you that it’s a very boring day here today and I don’t have anything on my plate right now to worry about. I’m not saying there’s nothing going on, because of course there is. This is the busiest season of the year, and I have meetings about meetings scheduling upcoming meetings to discuss further meetings at which people will decide when to meet. But none of that is making me feel like fainting or calling Ralph on the big white phone or leaping through the hermetically sealed windows. Hence, boredom.

To be in business now is to be a thrill junkie. Which in our case, most of the time, means the thrill of imminent exsanguination. I remember the past as somewhat more pleasant. But that may just one of those lies our memory tells ourself so we can continue to look forward to some kind of tomorrow without screaming in fear.

There is, of course, only one true cure for boredom in our sub-culture. New toys. It’s been months since I acquired anything new and digital. That kind of blows. I need… something. What could it be?

New camera? No. There’s a limit to how many digital cameras a person can own and not be considered a lunatic. I’m a few over that limit now. And I am not a lunatic!

New BlackBerry? No. The truth is, I love my current model, especially since I don’t like to use them as my phone. It’s not one of the most newest ones, true, but weirdly, I have a certainly loyalty to the guy I own. I like its keyboard. I like its color screen. It’s been good to me. I’m not going to bail on it this soon, only eight months into our relationship. That would be… callow, I think.

A new car? Don’t be silly. I’m not that bored.

Hm. I would really hate to think that I have everything a person could want. I’ve always tried to want more. What if I’ve reached the point where I don’t need anything more? Would I still be an American? Would I still be… me?

Wait a minute. I’m looking at my cell phone… and… I don’t like it! Whew! I don’t like my cell phone anymore! Ha! What a rush!

Gee, it’s going to be fun to look for a new one. First I’ll go online and research all the alternatives. I’m sure there are many. Maybe I’m not happy with my provider? That would open up a whole new window of choices! Get more! Can you hear me now? I’ll think about that. Could be interesting. Beyond that, though, there’s the whole question of the basic phone itself, its video and digital photography capabilities, built in games and access to media, and whether it can boil soup remotely.

It’s a beautiful day outside. There are several stores in my very neighborhood. What am I waiting for? Time is money! And it’s time to spend some of each!

About the Authors
By Stanley Bing
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By Brett Krasnove
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