50 Bulls**t Jobs: Maintenance assistant

May 2, 2007, 4:36 PM UTC
Fortune

Just a few ways to be profitably and pleasantly (if uselessly) employed, from Stanley Bing’s book, “100 Bulls**t Jobs and How to Get Them” (Harper Collins).

A reader from Savannah writes:

A buddy of mine helped me get a job as a maintenance assistant at an apartment complex.  Easiest money ever.  I was hired with zero experience, paid 12 an hour to basically touch up the walls with paint whenever people ditched the apartment. One apartment would take me, at my leisurely pace, 1 hour.  Of course I’d drag the hour out to 4.

What did I do in between?  Cruised the complexes (there were two) in my really cool golf cart, ran laps around the complex for exercise, practiced my karate with my buddy, chilled at the pool on hot days, and take extended trips on my golf cart to the store for strawberry shortcake ice cream bars.  Normally I’d take 3 to 4 of these extended trips which would take about 30 mins each.  Lunch was 90 mins or more, which were spent playing guitar at my buddy’s place or watching his extensive collection of dvd’s.

Our boss was super cool and she hardly ever bothered us except to tell me what room I had to do next.  She’d even track us down on our way to the ice cream to put in a request for smoothies and stuff.

My favorite time of the day?  When my buddy would ask me “WHAT TIME IS TI?!”
“IT’S STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE ICE CREAM BAR TIME!!!!!”

Readers, what do you think? Is this a bulls**t job?