Fun with Apple pre-earnings headlines by Philip Elmer-DeWitt @FortuneMagazine April 27, 2015, 3:21 PM EDT E-mail Tweet Facebook Google Plus Linkedin Share icons Apple’s earnings are all about… — Apple earnings hinge on success of THIS — Apple earnings: It’s all about the capital return program — Apple Earnings: All About the iPhone, Baby — Apple is about to break out. Here’s why What’s up is down… — Apple’s sheer size is its stock’s real weakness — Apple Runs Up Against Its Own Success — Is Apple Too Expensive to Buy Right Now? — Can Apple earnings top its historic last quarter? The expectations game… — How Apple can whiff on earnings and still beat expectations — Apple Likely To Break ‘All Records’ In March Quarter — Apple? Too much expectation: Cramer — Apple will set Q2 records today, but can they live up to colossal expectations? Irrelevant “watch” puns… — What to watch for in Apple’s earnings — What to ‘Watch’ in Apple’s Earnings — Why Apple’s Watch could call time on its share price What else can you show me? — Apple’s Earnings — What Does It Do for an Encore? Apple’s fiscal Q2 2015 earnings results are due out half an hour after the market close. We’ll be eavesdropping on the 5 p.m. ET (2 p.m. PT) analysts call. You can too. Here’s the link: www.apple.com/quicktime/qtv/earningsq215 Follow Philip Elmer-DeWitt on Twitter at @philiped. Read his Apple AAPL coverage at fortune.com/ped or subscribe via his RSS feed.