By Chris Morris
November 15, 2017

Someone get Officer Big Mac on the phone!

A Maryland woman was caught on surveillance video stealing food and cash from the drive-through window of a Howard County McDonald’s — spending half an hour in the restaurant. It’s unclear if the restaurant was open at the time.

Video of the incident is, quite frankly, epic. The suspect begins by poking her head into the drive-through window, whipping it back and forth like something out of a Looney Tunes cartoon while she checks to see if the coast is clear. She reaches over to steal a soda, but seemingly can’t quite reach the dispenser.

As one does in these situations, she then decides to crawl through the window — albeit, rather awkwardly — giving the camera a good look at her face. After securing her soda (and not forgetting the lid), she walks off camera. Twenty-two minutes later, she returns carrying a large box. Only this time, she has her shirt pulled up over her head like the Beavis & Butthead character Cornholio. She hands the box to someone in a waiting car, then wanders back into the restaurant and into infamy.

Authorities did not say how much cash or food was taken.

Police in Columbia have offered a $500 reward for information leading to the capture of the suspect. Mayor McCheese, meanwhile, is said to be preparing a tough anti-crime legislation with his close aid Grimace.

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