Photograph by Jonathan Leibson — WireImage/Getty Images
By Dan Reilly
February 8, 2015

On Sunday, February 6, the biggest stars in music will convene at the Grammy Awards, and they’ll get a bunch of prizes even if they don’t win a golden gramophone. Like most awards shows, the performers, presenters, and nominees all get to walk away with an opulent gift bag that features some amazing swag and a bunch of random trinkets. This year’s batch, compiled by Los Angeles marketing company Distinctive Assets, features quite a diverse array of goodies that the likes of Beyoncé, Kanye West, and AC/DC will take home.

At $14,584, the priciest gift available is a luxury train trip through western Canada aboard the Rocky Mountaineer, which features glass-domed cars for panoramic views and gourmet meals prepared on board. Here’s hoping they have a film crew on board if Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Madonna, and Lady Gaga decide to cash in their vouchers at the same time to see the majestic waterfalls of British Columbia.

There are also $1,140 Gibson guitars, though the exact models of the instruments aren’t specified. For $1,200, there’s an array of Wellness 360 lotions, protein mixes, vitamins, and The Healing Saint Hair Follicle Stimulant. The latter product “helps revitalize the scalp with thickened hair roots, reduces hair loss and decreases premature breakage,” so expect a few of the men in the gift suite to discreetly make a beeline for that gift table.

From there, it gets even more random. Some of the cheapest items on the list include Purell hand sanitizer, Carmex lip balm, and Sleepmints, little breath treats that are chemically engineered to promote calmness and help people snooze. If any of the talent is into Diddy’s clothing line Sean John, there’s a $500 collection of his wares, including a velour track suit, cotton pullover, jacket-pants combo, a “Dream Big” shirt, and a nylon duffle bag with an “animal-friendly black leather handle.” And for any attendees with kids – North West or Blue Ivy, maybe? – WowWee is giving away the $119.99 MiPosaur, a toy they describe as a “highly intelligent robotic creature with an incredible, evolving intelligence and personality.”

There really is something for everybody here: An $800 gift card for a “custom candy buffet and dessert bar” from Candy Vixen, a bag of Aerosmith drummer Joey Kramer’s Rockin’ and Roastin’ organic coffee, weight loss products from Hydroxycut, Lulu DK temporary metallic tattoos, a PowerCube power strip, the physician-created NapAnywhere travel pillow, and a copy of Archibald’s Next Big Thing, an illustrated children’s book by actor Tony Hale, best known for his roles on Arrested Development and Veep.

The 57th Annual Grammy Awards air Sunday, February 8 at 8PM ET from the Staples Center in Los Angeles. If you didn’t know that already, chances are you’re not getting one of these gift sets.

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