FORTUNE — Apple’s (AAPL) share price popped $3.50 in pre-market trading shortly after 7:50 a.m. Thursday. That was just about when — to the minute — BTIG’s Walter Piecyk e-mailed clients a note upgrading the stock from “neutral” to “buy” for reasons that are so perverse only Piecyk’s words can do them justice:
Piecyk, to his credit, has more to say. He’s also lowered his price target (to $540). You can read all about it at Upgrading Apple to Buy.