By Stanley Bing
July 24, 2009

I always like to end the week with a laugh, and I got a good one out of a Reuters headline this morning. I don’t know if it’s really funny. But I found it hilarious for some reason. Here it is:

Business Users Force Twitter to Change Direction;
Company Now Sees Way to Make Money

I have this image in my mind of the guys at Twitter sitting around and scratching their heads. “Boy,” says the first Twitter executive, “we’ve really got a great thing going on… it’s just that personally, I can’t see a way for us to make any money at it.”

“I know!” says Twitter #2. “I mean, we’ll all make a killing when we sell the place and retire at the age of 14, but in order to do that we have to produce a spreadsheet.”

“What’s a spreadsheet?” says Twitter #3.

“It’s, like, this thing that tells the giant corporation that will buy us and then lose their shirts why they won’t lose their shirts if they buy us.”

“Oh,” says Twitter #3. They¬†all sit around for a while. And then it happens.

“I know!” says Twitter #1. “I know how we can make money!” Everybody gets very excited, of course. “We’re not going to be a social network anymore!”

“We’re not?” says everybody in the room except #1.

“No!” he replies. “We’re going to reposition ourselves as a communications network!”

“Oh!” they all cry. There’s a short pause. “And that will make money?” says a small voice that could be Twitter #3.

“Yes,” says #1.

And that was that. In one giant clap of conceptual thunder, Twitter goes from being an immensely popular social phenomenon that has no idea how to monetize itself into the next great profitable start up.

Not a bad way to end the week.

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