By Stanley Bing
May 6, 2009

Debt: What you buy things with. 

Cash: Employed to buy debt. 

Profit: What’s left after Generally Accepted Accounting Principles takes the rest. 

Revenue: What you see in 120 days. 

Interest: What they used to give along with the toaster. 

Free Market: see Unregulated Market. 

Unregulated Market: See Ponzi Scheme

Ponzi Scheme: The manipulation of markets by experts who use other people’s money to get rich. 

EBITDA: See OIBIDA

OIBIDA: Yet another acronym. 

Cash Flow: The actual amount of money an enterprise has on hand. Generally disregarded by Wall Street analysts in favor of Earnings Per Share (EPS). 

EPS: Cash that is left after the business does anything worthwhile. The figure is distorted by all sorts of one-time expenses, accounting tropes, write-downs, restructuring charges and other non-cash items. 

Capitalism: The manipulation of markets by experts who use other people’s money to get rich.

Now come on, you guys. It’s your turn. Got any terms you’d care to offer?

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