By Stanley Bing
April 19, 2007

We live in a world where our attention is divided among an enormous variety of effluvious material. Some of it really is important. Most of it is not. And yet, by noon every day I can feel my brain exploding with junk in which I really ought to have no interest, permanently. How much better off I would be if my brain were emptied of this extraneous bushwah! Out! Out, I tell you!

But seriously. I thought I would take a moment to share with you a partial list of subjects that I’ve decided I have no need for at this time. Please take a look and then let me know what YOU don’t care about. Perhaps we’ll find a core curriculum of nonsense we can all renounce so we can move on to other things, like EBITDA for the quarter, or what we’re having for lunch or, since it is now after lunch, dinner. Unless you’re on the West Coast, in which case, lunch. Things I Don’t Care About Today:

  • Reese getting revenge on Ryan with Jake
  • Larry is father of Anna’s baby
  • Beyonce is slim for summer
  • Scarlett has stolen Jessica’s man again
  • Marcia Cross has twins at age 44 and¬†feels “so lucky”
  • Katie finally storms out on Tom, unless they’re having another baby
  • Britney is thin again
  • Angelina has walked out and dumped the kids, unless she hasn’t, in which case Brad is possibly rushing to have a tropical wedding to save the marriage. Either way.
  • Paul Abdul drunk in church?
  • Anything about liposuction on anybody I don’t know personally, except maybe Star Jones, which you’ll have to admit is pretty remarkable.

    That’s enough for now.¬† You can let me know if you agree with any of this, and even if you don’t, although if you don’t I’m far less interested.

    Better still, why not join the community of like-minded people who are sick of all this input, and care enough to engage in a policy of committed, creative ignorance?

    (Thanks to jamilalist for the Star Jones photo, courtesy of Flickr.)

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